26 Jun 2011

WEEK 6: Blood Feast

Alternate Titles : Egyptian Blood Feast, Feast of Flesh
Year: 1963
Reviews / Author Comments due: 02/07/11
DPP Status: Successfully Prosecuted.
Wikipedia: Blood Feast

Feel free to use the comments section of this post to add your own reviews and thoughts about this movie.

25 Jun 2011

The Beyond - Will's Review

This week I have mostly been having flu.

This has nothing to do with the movie, but will effect the review, for one thing it will have less time spent on it than normal, and for another I was so ill when I watched the movie that I probably misjudged parts of it horribly, which is a shame, because from the films opening shot it is obvious that this is a cut above the previous 4 week's films, actually looking like a 'proper movie'!

I don't know if the budget was any higher on this than on the last 4, or if Fulci and Salvati (Director and DP respectively) just did a better job of putting what money they had on screen, but this is the first nasty on our list not to look like a student film!

In the opening segment we meet a Painter / Alleged Warlock by the name of Shpike, who (along with a blind girl) is the current keeper of the 'Book of Eibon' a 4000 year old collection of prophecies - throughout the movie we will learn little of these prophecies, save for the fact that they tell us that the hotel in which the opening (and most if the rest of the film) is set, is built on one of the 7 gateways to hell.

Shpike is crucified and brutally murdered in the hotel by an angry mob, and so the gate-way is opened... Except it seemingly lays dormant for another  50 years until our Heroin, Ilisa, inherits the place from a rich uncle she was only vaguely aware that she had.

Speaking of the Shpike's murder, which is unnecessarily prolonged and gory  (Yay!), there was one thing really bothered me about it, which sadly plagued almost every subsequent death in the movie;  is apparently unfamiliar with the phrase "blood is thicker than water" - while there is plenty of the red stuff, it looks more like a full bodied merlot than actual blood.

Anyway, Ilisa inherits the hotel in a hell of a state (no pun intended), it's completely run-down, everything is inch-thick in dirt, building work is needed, the basement is flooded and baths are full of water so old and dirty that you couldn't see a submerged body in one untill it reached out and grabbed you... Which is odd, because it comes with staff; What exactly mother/son care-taking team Martha and Arthur have been up to these last few years is anyone's guess, but now they have the unenviable task of cleaning the dump up and getting it ready for re-opening, as Ilisa has decided to move in and run the place.

We also meet our other main protagonist John McCain (I think that's what my notes say - stoopid flu) - a doctor who seemingly knows everyone in town (to the extent that if he doesn't know them, he deems it odd, Joe- a not long of this world plumber, Emily- a blind girl with an uncanny resemblance to the girl from the films opening and Dickie - Emily's absolutely adorable  German Shepard guide-dog.

Large chunks of the plot (and most especially it's surreal ending) go unexplained, but in that way that horror movies can sometimes pull off as 'dreamlike' - if you arn't a fan of ambiguity though, best give this one a miss - it rivals even Japanese horror in that department!

Finally, I can't review this movie without mentioning eyeballs! Until I get further down the list of movies I can't comment if this is a Fulci trademark or if it's unique to this movie, but the dude seems to love a good eyeball gag (in the special effects sense,   Not the joke sense) at least half of the deaths in the movie seem to involve eyeballs being graphically punctured, removed or eaten by spiders - Nice! How this got removed from the List, while Axe got a prosecution, I will never understand...

Body Count: 6
Animal Body Count: 0
Boob count: 0
Most Memorable Death: Melted by Quicklime

Please use the comments bellow only to comment on this post - to write your own review, please comment on the "Reader Reviews" post for this movie.

The Beyond - Lisa's Review


So here commences with review No 5! Given that I'm the video nasty 'virgin' I'm quite impressed at myself. It's become quite the little distraction when giving Isaac his bottle... good job he's not old enough to know what I'm watching though. So on to the movie..

My first comment has to be... That's more like it! I actually thoroughly enjoyed this movie and will be keen to see more from Lucio Fulci. The die-hard horror fans amongst you will be aghast at that, but no, I haven't actually seen anything by this guy before. I have been a big horror fan since my dad introduced me to the many Stephen King movies (when he was still good) when I was about 7 or 8, but everything I have seen has been post these sort of movies... Sorry I deviated again...

So whats to like about 'The Beyond'? More like what's not to like. This movie has a bit of it all...haunting, spookiness, gore, not too bad acting (we won't get carried away and call it good), great effects, a storyline, creepiness, intrigue... ahh no sex or boobs though - sorry guys!

To start with I really like the opening sequence to the movie which is set in 1927 where a group of villagers murder an artist (quite horribly) that they believe to be a warlock. The cinematography is lovely to watch (even if the subject matter isn't)and is shot in sepia which do the effects the world of good. They look all the more gorey, realistic and creepy. The scene which contains flagellation of the artist by way of something sharp and nasty is genuinely horrid and made me wince. You haven't even been introduced to this first victim, yet you feel genuine empathy and distress for him. This is achieved not just by some quite good acting, but also by fantastic make-up, a great attention to detail with the sound of the movie and great cinematography. Not only does the tearing flesh, pouring blood, nails hammering through flesh and acid melting skin look real and horrific, it also sounds it. Fantastic opening sequence. However 'Ms soundtrack fixation' must point out that a really eerie soundtrack is replaced by the usual bontempi organ later on.... what the hell is going on? You had it spot on guys!!!

As the movie progressed, although I enjoyed it, I did wish I could watch an entire movie with the effects, sepia overtone and mood of the first scene. We did however pop forward to what was the present day when the movie was filmed. Our lead actress Liza (which is almost Lisa if you put your mind to it!) has inherited the building where this atrocity has happened and wants to go into business with it as a hotel. Renovation work on the building seems to resurrect something horrid and all sorts starts to kick off.

Something I'm learning is that a lot of these movies have very ugly children in them and this one is no different.. cue wierd looking ginger child with horrific eyebrows. Her mother and her are called to the hospital where her dads body is laid out in the morgue beside the mummified remains of the poor guy who met his demise in the first scene. The make-up here is fantastic, I don't think modern effects have done anything to improve what's achievable these days. Soooo, the mother goes in, but doesn't look too traumatised by the state her dead husband is in wierdly enough... I think she deserves to meet a nasty end... I wasn't disappointed. You are treated to a scream from outside the room, cue ginger child running in (who thankfully has the nounce to look horrified). Her mother is unconscious on the floor conveniently beneath an overturned jar of acid (I'll let you work out what happens). You're left to wonder why the scream and why she ended up on the floor. The effects and makeup which follow are very impressive. I particularly liked the 'foamy' blood creeping across the floor towards the feet of the child... messy!

There is an odd 'freeze frame' where the child screams here which is very oddly placed and just looked stupid, but hey ho.

Not long after this, we are introduced to Emily, a strange blind girl with an awesome alsation dog called Dicky (snigger) who is the owner of the most awesome contact lenses I have seen in a movie. I want a pair! They looked ace! She has a wierd, echoey voice (like the kind thats usually used in flashbacks) that is the first clue all is not normal with her. I won't give away who she is and why all is not as it seems there, but I did love the revelation as to who she is.

As the movie progresses, the ginger kid gets herself a pair of the cool contact lenses, indicating she is now part of whatever the blind girl is... the only hint at whats going on is the ominous line "The blind see things more clearly".

I won't give away any more of the storyline as its fun to watch but be warned it doesn't all tie together in places and some things don't altogether make sense. There are some scenes where the more astute viewer with a memory would think "huh?" but try not to get too tied up in that. It doesn't really matter that you can't explain everything and that some things don't entirely make sense. It doesn't take away anything from the movie or spoil the enjoyment.

Scenes which do warrant a mention are the body nailed to the wall in the haunted room, a tarantula face eating scene (which is both hilarious for some of the fake spiders whose legs all lift at the same time when they walk, but also very creepy but the sounds as they nibble their way through someones face), Body in the bath scene (this is awesome!!! Watch for the housekeepers death!), Dicky the dog doing what needs to be done (how dare Emily send him in to fight zombies to save her.. zombies which incidentally were fantastic!!!).

A special mention has to go with how the ginger kid is dispatched... fantastic! How the hell did they DO that back then? Awesome in every way. I rewound it several times and it still looked as good after several watches. I can't give it away, you HAVE to watch it.

The scene which is played out as the movie ends again is great. The 2 lead characters find themselves, I suppose in 'The Beyond'. The backdrop.. or however they did it, is awe inspiring. Its a true horror genius that's come up with some of the scenes in this movie and the wasteland they find themselves in is well and truely desolate and immensely depressing... and littered with mummified bodies for good measure.

In conclusion, I really enjoyed this movie. I would heartilly recommend it to anyone. Yes, it did have gore, but not enough to kick up a fuss, just bloody good gore and great effects. The acting is very good for this kind of movie and the movie score is impressive as are the general sound effects used. My favourite part however was the cinematography and general mood Fulci has created with the film. Top Notch!

Makeup - 9/10
Soundtrack - 8/10
Gore - 10/10 (although not wall to wall gore, it was a perfect amount for the movie)
Overall - 8/10

Please use the comments bellow only to comment on this post - to write your own review, please comment on the "Reader Reviews" post for this movie.

19 Jun 2011


Alternate Titles : L'Aldila, Seven Doors of Death, E tu Vivrai nel Terrore: L'Aldila, And You Will Live in Terror: The Beyond
Year: 1981
Reviews / Author Comments due: 25/6/11
DPP Status: Removed from list - April 1985
BBFC Status: Passed uncut, Rated 18 in 2001
Wikipedia: The Beyond (film)

Feel free to use the comments section of this post to add your own reviews and thoughts about this movie.

18 Jun 2011

The Beast in Heat - Will's Review

Imagine some really incompetent Italian film makers set out to make a movie about a resistance group in occupied Italy.

Now imagine that some rouge element in the production crew were intent on making the Italian version of 'Allo 'Allo.

Finally, imagine that, upon completion, the producers realised that the film wasn't very good, and so went back and did some re-shoots to work in a sexploitation sub-plot about a man-made Neanderthal beast thing, that the Nazi's keep in a cage and use to rape as part of their bizarre interrogation techniques.

Oh, and then dub the whole thing really badly and give all the higher ranking Nazis terribly English accents.

If your imagination is good (and your expectations low), the film in your head is probably quite a lot like "The Beast In Heat".

Only Better.

The "Draw" in this movie is 'the beast' (short hairy dude), which, as I mentioned, the SS have created in a lab to... rape women, y'know, for interrogation and stuff...

Oddly though, this happens in the very first scene, leaving the movie with no-where really to go; I did learn something though; apparently being raped by a short hairy dude will cause your mouth to bleed, and bruises and lacerations to appear on your chest, even though he does nothing obvious to cause them, and may even lead to death!

Thankfully, the rapes in this movie are so badly done that it's difficult to be offended by them. Usually, I find 'light-hearted' rape to be more offensive, as it some how lessens the severity of an awfull, awfull crime, but come ON...

"The Beast" can apparently see the camera...

I will give the short hairy dude his dues though - no matter how much a girl struggles, he seems to be able to penetrate with ease - first time every time, without using his hands; Impressive!

From this opening, we cut to the actual war-movie part of the film, which centres around a group of Partisan Italians trying to make life difficult for the Nazis, by blowing up bridges and what-not. Only one of them is ethicist opposed to killing under any circumstances (I'm not making this up).

The Partazans are mostly men, but there is one women in their ranks; her job is to gather inelegance by sleeping with the comic relief Nazi. I say 'Comic relief Nazi', he's slightly deshevled, and has a silly voice (at least in the dubbed version) but generally, there is no (intentional) comedy in the film.#

Which makes this bit so much the stranger:

"Yes General Von Klinkerhoffen?"

The only other (i think) deliberate "gag" in the movie, also involves this guy and his mistress. A few seconds after the above call, she makes a deft escape without pants-nazi's underlings seeing her...

The lesser know "carry On" film,
"Carry on Molesting"

As lame as the Nazi's in this movie may be, the Partezans are even worse! Almost every man in the village is one of them, but rather than apparently getting about their daily lives, every single one of them is in hiding - worse the rest of the village all know who and where they are - even the children! and somehow the Nazi's all know that they all know, and so make occasional trips into the village to kidnap women and children to torture for information, and to have a go at baby-clay pigeon shooting...

A New Olympic sport is born!

Perhaps the most bizzare aspect of the whole village being in on the partizan's secrates however, is that although they are trusted with the identities and locations of the men in hiding, they are apparently NOT entrusted with the knowledge that one of their number is a spy - the woman who is acting as Pants-Nazi's mistress is hated throughout the village, for shagging a German! This does however lead to the lamest insult, and oddest 'comeback' I think I've even heard...

Truth be told though, the whole movie is a thinly veiled excuse to show different methods of torture - One woman he's her fingernails pulled off (which is hilariously dubbed with a calm "Stop it, you're hurting me"), one has her genitals electrocuted (which seemingly causes them to bleed - unless it as just unfortunate timing and she was getting her 'monthly gift' when the Nazis took her) one has an upturned bucket placed on her stomach, with a fire built on it, one is strapped to a large wheel, one has her considerable bush ripped of and eaten by The Beast (!) and one has her stomach painted bright red, and tame black guinea pigs are allowed to play on her (I am told that they are supposed to be rats, and they are supposed to be biting her, but there is no information to this effect on screen) - the oddest punishment however is dished out to one of the men; he is stripped naked and chained up and then (the horrors) head Nazi rubs her bare boobs all over him and (possibly -its only implied) goes down on him, poor thing!

Actually, its this 'attrocity' which leads to the firms other great face pulling, the guy chained next to the man receiving the oral cross-examination starts freaking out and screaming 'I want you I waaaaaant you" at the Nazi, and is rewarded thus: 

That the first time I've ever laughed out loud
while THAT happens in a movie.

Quick random thought - How prevalent was bleach hair in war-time Italy? as a few of the girls have carpets that don't match the drapes... Also; how common was it for SS scientists to wear stockings and suspenders AND NOTHING ELSE under their lab coats?

So, this is without question, the worst of the 4 Video Nasties we've watched so far (and worse than the couple I'd seen prior to starting this progect), bit how does it stand up from a yechnical point of view.

Many of the Nazi-uniforms are fancy-dress grade, The script has offices starting an awfull lot of sentences with "We germans...", The film was apparently scored before it was edited (In one instance, the backgroud music stops mid-note when the scene changes), War scenes make liberal use of badly matched stock-footage, there are some sub-thunderbirds model shots, and the dubbing is so bad that the movie feels like a comedy re-edit.

It's one saving grace was this guy, and his God infommercial:


Human Body Count: 28*
Animal Body Count: 0 
Boob Count: 10 pairs**
Most memorable death: Gurning castration.

*Most in the standard "War film" segments

**Approximate - It was difficult to keep track of which pairs we had, and had not seen before, as large chunks of the movie are wall-to wall boobs. Also I'm reasonably sure that in the big nude / torture scene some of the girls are playing more than one roll!

Please use the comments bellow only to comment on this post - to write your own review, please comment on the "Reader Reviews" post for this movie.

The Beast in Heat - Lisa's Review


I am torn with this movie. Part of me found it extremely distasteful and sick (the first so far where I could understand what all the fuss was about) but the other part of me found it too much like soft porn or movies like 'Flesh Gordon' to take in any way seriously. Had this movie been filmed with a darker mood and in all seriousness, I probably would have had problems watching it all the way through. That's not due to it being particularly horrific or having scenes which were bad enough for it to warrant prosecution, but just due to the fact I am a female viewer and much as I don't like typical sexist stereotypes, I think there are specific acts which men find easier to view than women.

There was 1 scene in this entire movie where a crying baby is snatched from its mother by a german officer and thrown into the air and shot (off camera) which is probably the only 'nasty' part in this movie played out seriously.

The general storyline involves a female nazi officers' experiment, where she creates a neanderthal-looking, sex-crazed creature, which spends the movies duration in a cage naked. Female prisoners are subjected to being thrown into the cage so this 'monster' can have his way with them while prison guards and the officers look on in amusement. These scenes are not particularly shocking, but more amusing to be honest as this incompetant, brainless creature does what only an animal could do, including ripping out the hair on one particularly thick muff. Thats something thats plentiful in this movie... very hairy female genitals! Makes you want to rush onto the set with some wax strips....

Also plentiful are boobs of all sizes and shapes. This movie is most definately one for the men as it just exploits women from start to finish. They just seem to be there for the eye candy to me. In saying that, the main movie villan is a woman, but her character is also something meant to appeal to the men and even she doesn't keep her clothes on! She is a dominatrix style character with the personality of a very lewd man. She makes advances on female officers, challenges male officers to 'get off' on the beast having sex with unconsenting women, then chastises them for it. She 'tortures' male prisoners by stripping off for them and asking them to look at her, before travelling southward..... kind of odd torture if you ask me. They'll be lining up for cross examination next.

So like I said, a kind of very poor soft porn movie in places, but done extremely badly. There are also several rape scenes with german officers and scenes where women are tortured, usually by way of genital electrocution or supposed rats eating their parts (although most amusingly, guinea pigs are used in the movie). Scenes which should have been horrific are played for kicks and to give you as much of an eyefull as possible.

One of the final scene inevitably involves Mistress bitch being hauled into the beasts cage so he can have his way with her. This is, as with the rest of the movie, played for kicks, with the absence of a bra when the uniform is ripped off, the suspenders and stockings which she just happened to have on underneath and their staying on all the way through. She is reduced to a quivering, bloody mess, just like all the other women (you could say she got her cum upence .. Ba'dum tish!) and they are both finally shot at the end by the villagers (who are in another story which runs alongside the main sex fuelled one and is too mind numbingly dull to talk about.... one of them does talk a lot like Pop-eye though, which I found amusing) its dull and monotonous and most viewers will just be wondering how long it takes until you get back to the boobs. It was a very weird mix of 2 stories to me....

So to conclude, nothing particularly shocking in this movie but it contains an awful lot of nudity and sex. It is so bad though and 'the beast' is so laughable, you can't really get all bent out of shape about it. I felt sorry for the actresses having the guys flacid bits all pressed up against them... YUCK!!! If you're a guy who likes to watch a lot of boobs and a bit of blood, then this is for you. If you're a horror loving female, then there's very little here for you (unless of course you like to look at boobs too). There are a few teeny tiny flacid willies in there as well though, if that does it for you!

You'll need your pen and paper for the boob count in this one Will. I can't wait to see what it is!

Gore: 1/10 (There is very little)
Story: 2/10 (there was little in the way of a story as it was all an excuse to get bits out)
Nudity: 8/10 (Seemed to be the main reason for the movie to me)
Overall Score: 4/10 (If I was a guy, this would probably rise to 6/10)

Please use the comments bellow only to comment on this post - to write your own review, please comment on the "Reader Reviews" post for this movie.

16 Jun 2011

Free Double-Feature DVD

People who use Bit torrent, can now download a free and legal nasty-centric DVD via this link.

The DVD features "Driller Killer" and a whole bunch of Video-Nasty trailers, plus the non-DPP Italian horror classic "Deep Red". Best of all, there is an option to play the movies as a "Drive-in Double-feature", with an intermission and random trailers and cartoons (a different show every time).

All content is Public Domain or CC licensed, so you can download, upload, burn and give this away without fear!

12 Jun 2011

WEEK 4: The Beast in Heat

Alternate Titles : La Bestia in Calore, SS Hell Camp, SS Experiment Part 2, Horrifying Experiments of the S.S. Last Days
Year: 1977
Reviews / Author Comments due: 18/6/11
Added to DPP List: October 1983
DPP Status: Successfully Prosecuted
BBFC Status: Still Banned Outright.

Feel free to use the comments section of this post to add your own reviews and thoughts about this movie.

11 Jun 2011

Axe - Lisa's Review


I won't go through a synopsis of the movie or into any detail about anything that happens. I'll let you find that out for yourself, but I may refer to specific scenes, so if you REALLY don't like to know anything AT ALL about movies you watch, maybe best not to read on.

This movie is another one where I struggle to understand the placement on the infamous list. Maybe in the 70's when it was made, certain aspects of it were shocking, but now, with a few tiny cuts you could probably put this on the TV on a Sunday afternoon alongside Miss Marple.

For the most part I enjoyed this movie, but not because it contained any kind of tension, intrigue, horror or gore, but because it was SO bad. I know there are better of these 'so bad its good' movies out there, but some of the dialogue really had me giggling and even reaching for the remote to hear it again... I give you one such line when a poor unfortunate sod decides he would rather take his chances jumping out a window than with the 'bad guys' ..."Why did he do that? Its 12 floors?... "Nah its not. Its only 9!"... Lol. I kid you not. Excellent, and said in such a dead pan manner.

The scene this is taken from also should cause much merriment. The 'victim' is beaten mercilessly with a plastic, ginger, very ugly doll... inspiration for Chucky perchance? ;op

Another line which was just plain bad was when they approached a store clerk with a large melon and delivered the wonderful... "Ladies sure got some nice melons"... we were later 'delighted' to a view of these aforementioned melons (by way of a closeup with nothing else in the shot) being swilled in fizzy coke.... obviously for the males amongst the viewers, but sorry lads, the bra does not come off.

The movies main bad guys sometimes reminded me of the characters in Reservoir Dogs, or maybe thats what they would aspire to be if they weren't so bloody stupid and lacking in any kind of physical strength (proven by the ability of a young girl to dispense with them with so little effort!)

Back to how the movie was put together and we return to my irritating soundtrack fixation and this one does not disappoint on that front. Gone is the Bontempi organ, only to be replaced by the most irritating drum beats you're ever likely to inflict on your ears. Eventually you don't notice thankfully, but to start with it takes some getting used to.

What I did find though is that the attention to detail paid to the sound on this movie during murder scenes was quite impressive. Blades slicing through flesh and sawing noises were very distinct and realistic (well ...what I'd imagine to be realistic, having never sawed anyone with a razor).

The main heroine/intentional victim in this movie is the superbly named Lisa. In fact this film is also known as 'Lisa, Lisa' in some places. She is portrayed as the typical innocent, backward little girl, all complete with cute little virginal white dress and frilly cuffs. However this notion is quickly squashed by her deft ability to behead a chicken for her invalid grandfathers dinner. This girl doesn't mind a bit of blood... just as well really....

I'm unsure as to whether her acting was completely wooden and deadpan or her character was so emotionally 'dead' from her banal existence of caring for her paralyzed grandfather that she had simply lost any reactionary ability.

This movie is tagged as 'rape' and 'revenge'. Thats pretty much all you need to know to understand the premis and neither of the 2 subjects are portrayed in a particularly horrific manner, leaving me confused as to where the prosecution arose from...

The only other comment I would make about this movie would be to say there are several obvious attempts at arty shots. Shots which no doubt snotty little media students and people who think too much about these kind of things would read all sorts into... (a tie in the bath dripping with blood after a murder, paintings on the wall of very innocent and cheerful subjects being flashed in during the movies main murder scenes). I just don't have the inclination to try to dissect what they wanted us to interpret these as, but they seemed kind of out of place in this kind of movie to me.

In conclusion, nothing to write home about, but several 'funny' scenes. Won't disturb or horrify you. Its only just over an hour long so it won't take too much time out of your day.

Gore: 2/10 (there barely was any)
So bad its good score: 4/10
Overall score: 4/10

I'll leave you with one thought after watching this movie... 'Don't mess with Lisa!' ;op

Please use the comments bellow only to comment on this post - to write your own review, please comment on the "Reader Reviews" post for this movie.

Axe - Will's Review

Lisa Lisa took an axe, gave her captor 40 wacks, when she saw what she had done, she gave the other 41...

One of the greatest things about this film (aside from the bastardised 'Lizzy Borden' poem used in the trailer) is the runtime - at an hour plus credits, it's mercifully short.

The opening scene, in which some gangster types sit scowling and sniping at each other, passing the time by burning a transvestite's cloths while they wait for him to come home, is shot like a VERY low rent Hitchcock rippof, but things soon take a turn for the (even worse) as the film was apparently edited by dropping the filmed footage into a food processor; people get unexplained cuts wheel the camera looks the other way, shirts open themselves between shots an so fourth.

Once the gangsters have beaten the tranny to death with a plastic doll (!) we are introduced to our 'heroin' - Lisa, a young lady with an aversion to shoes (she goes out to tend to the chickens, and even into the forest to gather wood, barefoot.  Lisa lives alone with her catatonic, raw egg eating grandfather, who is arguably the more exciting of the two...

After stopping to hassle a shop assistant, our gangsters haul up at Lisa's house, forcing her to feed and tend to them; which she seems only mildly annoyed at.

On the subject of the shop assistant (surly one of the least emotive actresses ever) there is a great gag at one point, where a shot is fired, and she gets tomato sauce on her - in a decent quality film the gag wouldn't have worked, the red stuff that dribbles down her is so obviously vegetable (well, allright, fruit) based that in a higher standard production one would have imideatly spotted the bluff - here it could conceivably be supposed to be blood.

Anyway unfortunately for our home-invading tranny killers, they don't know when they're onto a good safe-house, and they get nasty with Lisa (i.e. One of them rapes her) so she starts picking them off with an axe.

And that's it, the entire story; hence the short running time, and padding at the convince store.

The direction is very odd indeed; I already mentioned the (bad) faux Hitchcockian opening scene, but once they arrive at Lisa's house it gets really odd... I can only assume the director was going for 'arty' as we get lost of odd lingering shots of things like Lisa's feet, a decapitated chicken on a draining board (Lisa killed it for dinner) and, oddest of all, about 10 broken eggs on a shelf in an otherwise empty fridge (we have no idea how the eggs came to be smashed, or why they were left there - in fact, they are never mentioned).

Finaly, regards its placement on the DPP list...


This thing was even one of the final 39, and you see NOTHING - I had to double check that mine was really an uncut print, as the camera cuts away from EVERY SINGLE axe / knife / doll blow. Save for the rapes (neither of which is remotely graphic; in-fact both are committed fully clothed) I expect this film would get a 15 rating these days.

Human Body Count: 8
Animal Body Count: 1 
Boobs: 0
Most memorable death: Beaten with a plastic doll.

Please use the comments bellow only to comment on this post - to write your own review, please comment on the "Reader Reviews" post for this movie.

6 Jun 2011

Anthropophagous - Darrens Review


Anthropophagous the Beast.

Well, hmmm.
To be honest, it needs renaming:
John Entwistle is Anthropophagous the beast (sponsored by Coca-Cola)

Let’s start with the important facts;
Was/is this worth watching?
It probably is if only for a few scenes.
Unfortunately I couldn’t get past the thought that ‘The Beast’ looked uncannily like John Entwistle from The Who,
Which is quite a connection as when you ask most people about this title, the first response is ‘what, Who’
There was an attempt at a storyline, but my attention slipped off to watch paint dry during extended scenes of ‘meaningless conversations’ that had naff all to do with anything!
Nice campervan mind.
Oh, did I mention Mia Farrows sister make yet another appearance in this?

Something that still stands out in the film is sadly not a special effect, but simply some bizarre dialogue…
A young couple on a beach, he’s topless, his girlfriend strips to a tiny bikini, yet his attention and scripted “oh ya” is directed at their dog which is relaxing in the sun!

See, even now, I’ve deviated from the plot…
It basically evolves around a man goes mad, blah blah blah, eats his family, islanders disappear….blah blah.

So what of the reason for making the DPP?
That’s down to one short clip that could’ve/should’ve been damn memorable….
The eating of a foetus freshly yanked from a pregnant woman. Not your average midwifery there!
I’d heard about the clip years ago & now I’ve seen it.. *shrugs shoulders*

I have to admit to fast-forwarding the ‘tense chase scenes’ –NOT.
No, really I did, the Not was sarcasm.
The naff soundtrack & score helps not at all either.

The film crawls along with painting by numbers style killings, during which you’d be thinking ‘I recognise him’, well, like I said it’s John Entwistle, bass player with The Who.
After dragging things out further there is an almost interesting final death scene where Mr Entwistle can’t resist eating his own spilt guts.
The End.
feck, all it needed was ‘Fin’.

This had the foundations of a classic watch again & again Horror.
Sadly it’s not.
My advice is watch it once just so you can cross it off your list & maybe edit a few clips out to a compiled montage.

Please use the comments bellow only to comment on this post - to write your own review, please comment on the "Reader Reviews" post for this movie.

5 Jun 2011

WEEK 3: Axe

Alternate Titles : California Axe Massacre, California Axe Murders, Lisa Lisa, the Axe Murders, The Virgin Slaughter
Year: 1977
Reviews / Author Comments due: 11/06/2011
Added to DPP List: September 1984
DPP Status: Final 39 (Successfully Prosecuted)
BBFC Status: Passed Uncut, Rated 18, in 2005
Wikipedia: Lisa Lisa
DVD: Axe

Feel free to use the comments section of this post to add your own reviews and thoughts about this movie.

4 Jun 2011

Anthropophagous - Lisa's Review


So on to week 2 of the 'Video Nasty a week', which is Anthropophagus. Maybe I should have watched this one first as this is supposedly the prequel to the one I watched first (Absurd). Thankfully there is no link to the stories. The only thing which ties them together is the lead character and given that he dies in this movie, his appearance in the next movie is obviously a clear enough indication it is not a follow-on.

I was disappointed with the first film in my list, but this one was actually not too bad. Given that it was the earlier movie, I was quite surprised by how much better the blood, gore and general feel of this movie is.

The acting, although poor in places is satisfactory (it is a video nasty after-all so don't expect any Oscar winning performances) I didn't feel myself cringe at the awfulness of the music, acting or anything to be honest. It did have an ominous, creepy feel in places which I liked. To me, whether or not I enjoy a movie has a lot to do with how it physically makes me feel while i'm watching it and whether or not I dwell on it afterwards. I liked how this one made me feel, but it certainly didn't have any scenes that I can say would stay with me.

The storyline is strong and keeps you interested as it progresses. It makes sense and all ties together quite nicely. Normal movie fans could watch this one quite easilly as there is honestly nothing shocking or nasty in this movie. The bad guy is excellent and perfectly cast. He was one of the few positive things about Absurd.

The gore is nothing more horrific than you would expect in any horror movie. The scene which got this movie banned (a scene where the lead character removes and eats a human foetus) is very brief and not at all shocking to be honest. Turns out the realism of the skinned rabbit used for this scene caused some viewers to feel the movie makers had actually got their hands on a real life dead foetus.... nice!

The movie is dated as you would expect, but it is watchable and somewhat enjoyable. If you are looking for gore, to be disgusted or to see something horrific, then probably best not to waste your time. If you're interested in watching an easy enough little movie with some slightly messy scenes, then fire away with this one.

Not at all bad or to be laughed at. Much superior to his sequel. Overall I would give this one a 5/10.

Please use the comments below only to comment on this post - to write your own review, please comment on the "Reader Reviews" post for this movie.

Anthropophagous - Will's Reviews

***Spoilers throughout***

When I first wrote up the viewing reschedule for this project; I decided that alphabetical order was the best way to avoid missing any of the films, but that left "Absurd" (AKA  "Anthropophagous 2") before this film, however a quick background check told me that the two movies are entirly unrelated - and they are; which is wierd when you consider that both are from the same director, the same writer, and star the same guy, playing a(n entirly different) madman from Greece.

In this movie he plays an insane cannibal with a bad complexion, but no special powers, where as in the 'Sequel' he plays a killer (but not cannibal) with remarkable healing abilities.

Also bear in mind that one title for "Absurd / Anthropophagous 2" was "Zombie 6" ("Zombie" was the italian title for "Day of the Dead") so it's worth bearing in mind that 'MOVIE YOU KNOW PART X' means very little in the world of low budget Italian horror.

If you went into this movie completely blind, you could be forgiven for assuming at first that it was a Jaws rippoff; The film opens with a couple (with an adorable old dog!) on an abandoned beach, She makes for the water, while he settles down with headphones, not watching her, while she swims out to a small moored boat, it isn't long before we get shots like this:

See what I mean?

When she gets dragged under, the unknowing viewer (an by "Unknowing" I mean "Hasn't seen the video box, much less found out that 'Anthropophagous' is Greek for 'Cannibal') could still carry on in their sharky assumptions.

When the guy gets an axe to the head however, It becomes apparent that the killer in this movie is a bit less water-bound than everyone's favourite killer shark.

The fate of this chap is left unknown

Then, things slow down for a bit as we meet our fodder main characters (6 friends, and a new girl) and actually spend a good half hour getting to know the group, so that we stand a chance of caring about them (Nothing ruins a large group of victims faster than a lack of introduction - leaving us confused as to how the group slot together when they start getting bumped off).

The group meet the new girl, by the way, in the most absurdly polite sequence ever caught on film:

Mental! -So, they agree to give her a lift in their boat, and even this sleezebag isn't enough to make her rethink it and just take the new camera:


Anyway, the new girl needs a lift to a particular island, where she is to keep a 15 year old girl company in exchange for a free holiday (!), and since our gang don't have a particular itinerary, they decide to visit said island themselves.

When they arrive, the island turns out to be practically deserted, save for a few bodies dotted around (The bodies look mummified to me, but our heroes claim they appear 'devoured'), and a nice little mystery unfolds about where everyone is, who has done this, and why?

One thing that isn't explained (or rather is, but not very well) is how our killer came to be a porridge-faced monster who seemingly can't look at a human being without having to eat it. an explanation is given (in flashback) but...

If you want to see what single event can turn a relatively normal 
man into a flesh-crazed demon-lookin' dude, play this clip:

The gore was much better (although still limited) in this than in it's sequel (which makes no sense - I can only assume the second film had a smaller budget), but that said, it's still hard, though jaded post-Saw/Hostel eyes, to see why this movie was on the DPP list, much less what a jury found so offensive that the movie was prosecuted.

Well, actually I think I know exactly why it was on the list (though still not why it was prosecuted) - The video box-art for one (Which, by the way, is a massive spoiler) and the scene where the killer reaches up a pregnant woman's skirt, bulls out the feotus and starts to eat it! This scene looks, to me at least, laughably fake; while the 'feotus' is clearly a whole, dead something it is equal clear that it has never been human (Wikipedia says it's a skinned rabbit). This was not enough to prevent a panic; It was reported in the news (even by the BBC) that this was a genuine "snuff" moment.

Unlike "Absurd", George Eastman (Who, incidentally, also wrote and produced both movies) isn't the only one bothering to act this time out - The whole cast give solid enough performances, and the voice actors have made the wise choice of going for a decent delivery, at the expense of perfect lip-sync (In Absurd the lip-sync was so good that it was hard to believe at times that the cast weren't genuinely speaking English, but in fitting the words to the actors mouths, all cadence was lost.)

So, despite the ribbing I've given the film, I actually quite enjoyed it - it's a reasonable 70's horror movie, that these days you would expect to pass uncut with no problems, the story is a little thin, but to be fair it has more of a plot than, say, Halloween (which I love), so story is demonstrably not the biggest concern in a decent slasher movie. Over all I'd say it was a little better than Absurd, and once again, not a bed way to kill 90 or so minutes 

Human Body Count: 10.5
Animal Body Count: 1 (probably)
Boobs: 1 (single)
Most memorable death: Foetus Eating(!)

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