26 May 2012

The Living Dead at the Manchester Morgue - Will's Review

If you've ever wished that zombie movies would give a better explanation as to WHY the dead have risen, you should check out this week's movie; there's a good chance it'll change your mind.

What we have here, is an average, run of the mill zombie movie; neither bad enough to offend the senses, nor good enough to get excited about. In fact, the only things that stood out to me we're the asshattedness of the male lead, and the 'science' of the zombies.

Actually, since I come to mention him, the male lead is arrogant, pushy, sexist, loud, and may or may not be involved in a dodgy antique deal; but he's not the 'evil human' character that's a popular trope in zombie movies - he's not the type to trip you up to save himself from the zombies, in-fact he does help a couple of people out. In a way, he's a perfect allegory for the movie as a whole, being neither likeable enough to get behind, nor loathsome enough that you wish the zombies would finish him off.

And so, to the 'science':

It seems that DEFRA are testing a new form of pest control; they are using 'Ultrasonic Radiation' (so 'sound' then) to interfere with the nervous systems of insects to make them attack each other. Unfortunately, it also makes the babies in a local maternity ward aggressive, and raises the dead. You see, we are told, babies have undeveloped nervous systems, which are therefore simple enough to be affected by the sound and (our hero hypotheses) the nervous systems of the dead live on for a short time, like how when you pic a flower it doesn't instantly die, and these slow nervous systems are also susceptible to the anger inducing noise...


Problem 1: even if the system works as advertised, all you are doing is setting up conditions to build super insects in a few generations time.

Problem 2. If it creates murderous babies (which, by the way, would have made a more interesting focus for the film) I presume it would affect other mammals, birds and so forth.

Problem 3. If the nervous systems of the dead ARE already running, it certainly isn't enough to make them move around, so pissing them of with magic sound rays would turn the inanimate benevolent corpses in to inanimate angry corpses. Which I think we can agree isn't much different in real terms, and certainly doesn't pose much of a threat.

Problem 4. None of this would explain how zombies could create other zombies by anointing corpses' eyelids with the blood of the living. Which (i shit you not) they can.

In future, I recommend that all zombie movies which feel the need to use fake science NOT use dead people (i.e.. 28 Days Later's 'rage virus') or else stick to the time honored babble like magic, voodoo, the wrath of god, passing comets, or a plain old ' fucked if we know'.

Body Count: 12
Boob Count: 1 pair
Animal body count: Some stock-footage of fighting ants, maybe 3 on screen deaths?
Most Memorable Kill: Clubbing with the good doctor,

Please use the comments bellow only to comment on this post - to write your own review, please comment on the main post for this movie.

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