23 Jul 2011

The Boogeyman - Lisa's Review

*** Contains Spoilers ***

This one is a slightly more modern one in the list being from 1980, but does more recent necessarilly mean better? Having watched this movie, it seems not.

We start this movie with a cringeworthy scene with a couple getting cozy on the sofa. The lady in the scene slowly takes off a stocking and oddly puts it over her beaus face (I think it was meant to be sexy, but I don't know what man would find a stinking stocking over his face alluring, or what woman wants to get it on with a thug).

We see 2 young kids watching these erotic goings on from outside the window and find out these are the womans children - Lacey & Willy. Upon catching them spying (why would you want to watch your mother getting it on???) they decide a suitable punishment for Willy is to tie him (gagged) to a bed... Hmmmm questionable. The amorous couple continue with their shenanigans where aforementioned bloke is asked by mother of the year to take the stinking stocking off as 'she doesn't like it any more'. ....meanwhile..... a young Lacey to the rescue, she comes in to the bedroom with a bloody big knife (they make a poor attempt to have us think she is going to dispense with her brother) and cuts Willy free. He goes in and interrupts his mum and her lover and stabs the lover to death! Lovely boy! (I didn't blame him really).

So we have the background for our movie. Onwards.

We cut to the future and a church. This is soley to show us they are god fearing types and introduce us to the stereotypically irish-named Father Reilly, who we will encounter again later. Lacey is married with a young son and lives with her aunt and uncle and Willy, who appears to be a bit backwards. Funny how they always accentuate this by putting the adult character in dungarees....

We have a nice family meal which is used mainly to draw our attention to the fact Willy doesn't speak, Lacey has not got over what happened all those years ago and keeps getting flashbacks when she see's knives and they get a letter from their mother asking to see them. To build on Laceys problem we are treated to one of her nightmares in which she pictures herself in satin and lace blue underwear laying on a bed (doesn't seem much point with sod all to fill it and I found myself wondering if male viewers were disappointed by the lack or boobs, or if indeed it matters ? Will?) She wakes up and is telling her husband about the dream (as the duvet hovers precariously just above her boobs - I bet Will was poised with that pen waiting for the reveal that never came). Her husband decides she needs to 'Get rid of these ghosts once and for all' and suggests she takes her mother up on the offer to meet up and also to go to see the house again to remember it 'how it is now and not how it was then'. Oddly we never arrange a visit with mum and its never mentioned again...

We then cut to a psychiatrists visit which isnt really worth mentioning. He hypnotises Lacey so she can talk about THAT night and she wakes with a ridiculous scream and a stupid voice, like one you would put on to scare a child. I didn't see much of a point for the character at all to be honest.

My notes next say 'Bra-less tart comes to farm and attempts to seduce Willy'. I don't think I need to elaborate any more on that. Her denim jump suit was appalling, she needed a bra badly, her advances were cringe-worthy (including the line that she didn't care that he didn't speak, she liked the fact he was different). Willy rejects her advances by lifting her off the ground and attempting to strange her *snigger*. He watches his actions in a mirror - quite the voyeur our Willy. He drops her, she runs away - shame that.

We are next treated to a scene where Willy is painting all the mirrors in the house black (much to his aunts annoyance). So there is obviously a mirror problem here....

Next off Lacey and her husband have arranged to go to see the old house which is conveniently up for sale so they can have a nose around. As they walk in, we see 2 young, attractive women (how much to guess if they end up as cannon fodder or get their boobs out I wonder...). Lacey has a bit of a moment in the bedroom where it all happened, when she see's the guy her brother killed all those years ago in the mirror (its that mirror thing again) walking towards her. She does what all daft bints in movies do and smashes the mirror in a complete strangers house with a chair. Her husband picks up all the pieces and brings it back with them to fix.... whats all that about???

As predicted the scenes which follow in the house when Lacey and her husband leave, involve both girls (and an annoying child who was also there, I think he was one of the girls sons) to meet their end. Bravo to the film makers for even managing to possess both women and have one hack a large opening in her top so we can have a look at her boobs. She then uses the same scissors to stab herself in the neck. The annoying kid is watching this through the window (what is it with perverted children spying on their mothers?) and the heavy window slides down and drops on his neck *snigger*. The second woman wanders into the bathroom with a sliver of mirror, throws it into the sink and it bursts into flames.... the bathroom cabinet then starts shaking and it swings open and biffs her in the face... I didn't quite understand how this killed her, but it hardly mattered.

We go back to the farm and spot shards of the mirror on the floor, some odd things happen, like flying pitchforks, pieces fly out of the mirror that Laceys husband is trying in vain to repair. I'm dying to hit the FWD button at this stage..... Ok ok so the mirror is possessed with the spirit of this dead guy and weird shit is happening.... where are we going with this.

Next we cut to Lacey & her son fishing on a jetty. We spot a piece of mirror glistening on the sole of Laceys shoe. Hmmmm. This however sets up the best part in the film for me. There are 2 couples having a BBQ on the beach not far from where these 2 are fishing. Blah blah blah.. all pretty boring UNTIL one of a rather amorous pair (it makes sure to set up how much they are all over one another) goes to the car to make to leave and gets a skewer through the back of the head, but thats not it!! Thats not what caused a giggle fest here. His girlfriend comes to see whats keeping him and he turns sideways (avec skewer) and looks at her. The door of the car closes on her bum, pushing her into the car and into what you could call 'a deadly embrace'. They are locked into a kiss and she is skewered also (with the same skewer) oooh how I laughed! What made it even more humorous is that their friends think they are having an extra long kiss and just leave them there.

Finally the husband, aunt and uncle realise Lacey was right about the mirror, so Father Reilly is called (remember him?). We can see he is trying to exorcise this spirit from the mirror. We are all at this stage standing in kitchen, the mirror glows red,everyone stares open mouthed (and yes I mean seriously mouth agog). A shard flies out and into what seems like Laceys eye. (this is a really piss poor effect. At this stage the action (if it can be called that) cuts away and into barn. There is muchos commotion and people go to investigate. Uncle dearest is fixed to the roof by a pitchfork and auntie is in a cupboard tangled in a hosepipe (is it wrong that I also found this a bit funny?

We then cut back to house (because I was on tenderhooks about that red glowing mirror and eye glass). Lacey is nonchalantly preparing dinner and doesn’t seem to care that her uncle and aunt are dead. ‘That’s dinner for 4 then’ she utters. She turns around, piece of glass (or what looks like tinfoil) is glinting in her eye. For some unknown reason, her husbands eyes start bleeding. Enter Father Reilly!!!! He approaches her with crucifix (gotta love that god on a stick) She seems to be levitating as she is considerably taller than him, but it never shows her feet or makes an issue of it. As he reaches to remove the shard of glass, he bleeds more profusely from his head. He manages to pull it free, releasing her from the possession. When he turns around, his back is full of a collection of knives we saw earlier in a drawer which we assumed belonged to Willy, who is watching all of this unfolding with no reaction.

We end the story in a graveyard. There is a piece of glass on Laceys sons shoe. He jumps up and down, it comes off and is left in graveyard as they travel home.

Big waste of time, crap movie. I can't help but wonder why they didn't make more of Willys character but seemed to just leave him alone after he dispensed with the bra-less tart. Also we had David Caradine (a fantastic actor we have to admit) who is barely used and to be honest his character (the doctor) is neither here nor there.

I watched A LOT of horrors in the 80's (my dad is a big fan) and I have to say this is probably pretty much on par with some of the worst ones. Pretty typical to be honest. Not something I would sit through again, it has to be said.

How this was ever a 'video nasty' is anyones guess. Ok so it was removed from the list but how the hell did it ever get on there in the first place?

Boring, banal, bland, dull, bad script, predictably awful, non-memorable deaths, failure to expand on the only promising things about the movie. In all, bloody crap!

Please use the comments bellow only to comment on this post - to write your own review, please comment on the "Reader Reviews" post for this movie.

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