24 Sep 2011

Death Trap - Will's Review

So, 2 "Before he was Freddy" Robert Englund staring movie in as many weeks! I didn't expect that!

In this one 'the man who would be Kruger' plays cowboy charmer Buck "...Ready to fuck" a guy so confident in his ability to pull the ladies, he pays for his hotel room in advance so he has somewhere to take 'em... Which begs the question "Why is he with a prostitute in the movie's opening scene?"
While we're on the subject - it's nice to remember that Englund used to be a promising character actor, but once he became Kruger he was, sadly, mostly hired in "Oooh look; it's a horror icon" joke cameos.

Anyway, the prostitute refuses to do bum sex (despite, or because of, Buck's attempted rape), gets sacked (he gets a 2 for 1 deal as compensation - odd lesson that...), and finds herself using the last of her (borrowed) money to get a room at the 'Starlight Hotel', a run down shithole with it's own cordoned off swamp (complete with Crocodile) - handy!

Insane hotelier, Judd, realises that our temporary heroin is from the whorehouse and kills her in a fit of rage Well, I say he kills her; technically, Judd doesn't kill anyone, although the injures he provides with archaic  gardening equipment would certainly lead to death, he tosses them in his croc pit - See?, I said that would be handy!

It isn't long before a distraught father comes to the hotel with one of his two adult daughters - the other is a runaway who he has come looking for.... That's right, little miss 'no rear entry! Judd has the good sense not to mention that she's been used as reptile bait, but does mansion that he's seen her working at the local bordello.

Our cast is rounded off by a rowing* couple who decide that the worlds filthiest  hotel would be a good place for stopover with a little girl - even after they see the crocodile consume their pet dog (a scene which is at once utterly unconvincing and oddly disturbing).

And so it continues with Judd finding more reasons to get into fights with people and feeding them to his crocodile, before meeting his own (inevitable) end.

Parts of this show the excellent discomforting atmosphere that Hooper played to the max in 'Texas Chainsaw', but sadly, more evident is the flat direction he would go on to show in films like "Spontaneous combustion" and  "The Mangler".

All in all, not too bad, but not great either, this could have been much better if Judd had actually killed ghis victims directly, and then delivered the bodies to his 'pet' for disposal - as it stands, every fight just becomes about Judd getting the latest fodder over to the balcony fence.


*as in arguing, not manually powering a boat.

Body Count: 5
Animal Body Count: 1
Boob Count: 3 Pairs (including 1 pair seen through very sheer clothing)
Most Memorable Death: Scythe Sporting dance of the dying Swan.



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