25 Mar 2012

WEEK 45: Human Experiments




Alternate Titles : Beyond the Gate, Women in Prison
Year: 1980
Reviews / Author Comments due: 31/3/2012
DPP Status: Removed from list March 1984
BBFC Status: Still banned by virtue of never being re-released
Wikipedia: No Page
DVD: Not Available





Feel free to use the comments section of this post to add your own reviews and thoughts about this movie.

24 Mar 2012

The House on the Edge of The Park - Will's Reviews

This is one of the few (3 so far I think) nasties I have already seen, It turned up on a 10 movies budget pack I bought on import from Canada years ago, I remember being impressed then, and I enjoyed it on a re-watch too..

Yes, I liked it! I know that Lisa will have a very different opinion, I haven't checked her review before writing mine (I never do) but I just know we will disagree on the Rape and sexual harassment scenes - and once you disagree on those, you aren't going to reach a consensus as they make up 90% of the movie!

In short, I'll have to be proven VERY wrong for this one to get a VNAW Recommends badge...

The film (directed by Cannibal Holocaust's Ruggero Deodato) opens with our lead character, Alex (the late David Hess), stalking, raping and killing a woman - the stalking is very well filmed, just the right amount of shaky cam to make it feel very claustrophobic, and i think the rape itself is well handled. While I am sure there exists a certain type of man who might'get off' on this, I felt that the rape was shown as a nasty and violent act - yes, the camera go up close and gave us lingering shots of breast and genitals, but this was not a posing woman 'sexing it up' and to me, these close ups were a violation, in much the same way the rape was shown to be. I'm sure there exists a type of man (possibly even woman) who will enjoy this as titilation, but to me it drove home the humiliation.

Alex apparently gets away with his crime, and we join him some time later (a year later, as we will find out) where his is finishing up for the night at the garage he owns, where he works with his (slightly challenged) friend, Ricky.

When a couple of Yuppies pull in to the garage as he is closing, he agrees to let Ricky fix their car, in exchange for an invite to the party they are headed to.

Once at the party, the hosts and their well-to-do friends waste no time in humiliating the duo, encouraging Ricky to dance and strip (while they point and laugh), while one of the women does everything she can to lead Alex on - even inviting him into the shower with her and washing him, before telling him he has no-chance.

I don't want to use the phrase "Asking for it" - but these idiots sure could have seen it coming... invite two strangers into your house then humiliate them - Not. Smart.

And so, when Alex decides that enough is enough the tables turn and it becomes a home-invasion movie - think Ils, The Strangers or even Week 37's Fight for your life - but with more sexual abuse and, in the case of fight, less racial hatred.

The women are all forced to bear at least there breast (most are stripped comply) Alex's Cock-tease gets taken up-stairs and raped, and Ricky is "gifted" his first choice of the women (Although he seems to like the idea, the reality is a different story and he is unable to go through with it).

There is also a particularly brutal razor assault on virginal time younger woman who drops by, that is hard to watch - made harder by those damned intrusive camera shots like the opening rape.

It's not without it's faults one of the women's behavior towards Ricky is just ridiculous in context, and the 'twist' is both predictable and pathetic, but all in all this one is worth your time... if you have the stomach for it.

Body Count: 2
Boob Count: 5 pairs
Animal Body Count: 0
Most memorable death: Like a floating pinata; only with bullets instead of sticks...

As an aside - Hess was set to star in a sequel to be released this year, reprising his roll as a 75 year old, newly released from prison, Alex. As far as I know though, this was never filmed before his unexpected death.


Please use the comments bellow only to comment on this post - to write your own review, please comment on the main post for this movie.

The House On The Edge Of The Park - Lisa's Review


*** SPOILERS ***

As I start this review, I don't know what I'm going to write so there may be spoilers.

I struggled with how to review this movie without bias, trying not to let the fact i'm female affect my viewpoint, but sadly its not something I was able to do, so.. if it makes me a feminist whinger, then so be it.


I won't go into serious levels of detail with the plot, but the main male lead (Alex) starts the movie by raping a young woman in the back of a car. I knew by this stage I wan't going to like this one. Ok, so how do I explain this... rape happens, it's nasty, so sure it has a place within 'Video Nasties' but what I have a real problem with is the execution of a rape scene being filmed as a 'love' scene for titilation. A womans body being used to get as many shots of her various parts as possible, rather than concentrate on the vile act that rape actually is. As I watched this first rape and we zoomed in for chest and genital close-ups, my stomach turned over. I don't know whether this is because I am female or whether men would feel similarly.

We move on in the movie and Alex and his slow friend Ricky are invited to a party with a bunch of rich individuals. Its made clear early on they've been invited for kicks for the yuppies to laugh at. They cheat at poker with Ricky cleaning him out of all his money, they make him dance, cheering him on, all while laughing at him and encourage him to strip. Our supposed smart switched on guy is even taken for a fool by one of the women who does everything possible to lead him on and then won't have sex with him.

What follows is similar to 'funny games' I suppose. Alex turns nasty and holds the houses occupants hostage. He beats the 2 men and we get to see every woman in the house completely naked (ok so, 1 woman only goes topless, but we have every other female in the movie to make up for that). Ricky is easilly led, but when it comes down to it, he doesn't want to perform in front of the group at Alex's request by forcing himself on one of the women.

So its a typical bad guy holds a group hostage and does bad things movie. What I found different about it however was the sheer amount of uncomfortable forced female nudity. Women being abused, raped, stripped, having razors held to their throats, even a teenage babysitter (a virgin of course) being stripped, humiliated and cut all over with a razor. The scenes made me squirm and not in the way they should have. As I have said before, I don't like scenes of sexual abuse and i dislike them even more when every angle, shot and movement is to cause excitement to the viewer. As the women are being abused, the director is very careful to make sure their leg is at just the right angle for maximum body exposure and to make the most of what they've got. As with the first rape, we are 'treated' to close-ups of all the females breasts and genitals through-out the movie. I just wanted to give the people responsible a big kick in the nuts from all rape victims who might be unlucky enough to come across this piece of drivel!

We have a 'twist' at the end of the movie which might surprise a retard, but I saw it coming from the initial invite of Alex and Ricky to the house. I won't give it away for anyone who feels compelled to watch this movie from my review, I seriously hope however, most people I know would have the intelligence to avoid!

Please use the comments bellow only to comment on this post - to write your own review, please comment on the main post for this movie.

18 Mar 2012

Week 44: The House on The Edge of the Park.



Alternate Titles: La Casa Speruta Nel Parco, La Casa al Confini del Parco Der Schlitzer
Year: 1980
Reviews / Author Comments due: 24/3/212


Feel free to use the comments section of this post to add your own reviews and thoughts about this movie.

The House By The Cemetery - Will's Review

This movie is one third of the Fulci "Gates of Hell" 'Trilogy' (The Beyond being another third, and the non-DPP 'City of the Living Dead' being the other) As 'The Beyond' is one of only 5 movies so far o earn the 'VNAW Recommended' badge, I was looking forward to this...


From the outset it is a wonderfully shot film, looking so visually similar to The Beyond that i checked if it had the same DP (it did) - even the early exterior shots manage to have a claustrophobic feel to them, and the sequence of the first victim being dragged off is (and it seems odd to say this) beautiful.

Unfortunately, this is limited to the pre-credit sequence; once the film proper gets going, it's just another (albeit competently made) 70's Italian horror movie.

And by 'Just another 70s Italian horror movie' I mean 'Large chunks of it make no sense, and the monster is sub-early Doctor Who quality'

The movie is about a family who move into a house because the dad is reasurching it, the house has its own graveyard, and the basement is boarded up. Clearly, the family have never seen a horror movie before, because the almost imidiatly open the basement, but then when weird stuff starts happening, it takes them fodder to actually attempt to flee the house and never come back.

There's a sub-plot with a girl from the past communicating with the boy of the family but, like all of the supernatural elements of the film, this dissent make sense in the context of, or tie into the reason behind, the murders that surround the house once the 'twist' is revealed.

To be honest, I found this one a little dull, unfortunately, crew aside, the only thing this movie has in common with the beyond, are some decent effects, and a nonsensical ending.

Body Count: 7
Boob Count: 1 Pair
Animal Body Count: 2
Most Memorable Death: Poke her with a Poker.


Please use the comments bellow only to comment on this post - to write your own review, please comment on the main post for this movie.

17 Mar 2012

The House by the cemetery - Lisa's Review

A nice little movie this week! Another Fulci offering. This movie is apparently a part of an unofficial trilogy with The Beyond which we watched a few months ago when we were still on 'B' and City of the living dead.

*** SPOILERS ***

Although the movie is quite dated as you would expect and the poor dubbing is irritating, I still managed to enjoy this movie. Its a good little afternoon view. I didn't find anything particularly scary, but the makeup in places is very good. Its just in shame in some other places, its so bad.

The basic premis without going into too much detail is a family (Mum Lucy, Dad Norman and young boy Bob) moving to a town called New Whitby due to the the father (Norman) having to research some old houses. The house they move into however is not as innocent as it seems.

We 'the viewer' already have this information on board from the opening scene of a young woman (topless at that... why do women never wear bras in these movies?) who is murdered via a knife to the back of the head (which protrudes from her mouth) as she is looking for her boyfriend. Also Bob keeps seeing the ghost of a young girl Mae who warns him not to go to the house.

Of course they go anyway and the inevitable happens.

They have gravestones in the garden and even in the hallway, of a family called 'The Freudsteins (on a side note, this really bothered me as they were referred to as Freudsteens in the movie, but german pronunciation dictates that with an ie or ei, you pronounce the last letter, so they should have been referred to as Freudstine!) anyways I deviate. We find out that Dr Freudstein does what all historical doctors have done in movies like this....illegal experiements. He also ends up killing his family.

We find out Freudstein is in fact still alive and in the cellar of the house as he is using parts from his victims to regenerate his blood cells. The reveal is kind of disappointing. He looks kind of like a withered ET and a scene which shows only his eyes glowing in the cellar when young Bob comes across him is just laughable.

Nothing much more to the story really. Bad stuff happens, people die.

Points worth noting in the movie are the doggedly determined, haemophiliac bat (very amusing scene), the stabbing by poker (what a horrid way to go and very good effects) and the slow decapitation by knife (again good effects, but let down by the poor severed head rolling down the stairs later).

The movie has its faults, but on the whole, it was a fun watch and something I would watch again. This one gets a 'recommended' from me.

Something I've gained from watching these movies is an appreciation of Mr Fulci!



Please use the comments bellow only to comment on this post - to write your own review, please comment on the main post for this movie.

12 Mar 2012

Week 43: House By The Cemetery - The



Alternate Titles : The House Outside the Cemetery, Quella Villa Accanto al Cimitero
Year: 1981
Reviews / Author Comments due: 17/3/2012
DPP Status: Successfully Prosecuted
BBFC Status: Passed uncut in 2009
Wikipedia: The House By The Cemetery
DVD: R2 uncut as part of the "Gates of Hell" Trilogy, With City of the Living Dead, and The Beyond
Watch For Free: Details here



Feel free to use the comments section of this post to add your own reviews and thoughts about this movie.

11 Mar 2012

The Gestapo's last orgy - Will's Review

*****Spoilers from opening paragraph*******

Opening with a VoiceOver from a war crimes trail, the movies story is actually pretty strong.

Lisa (yes another one) is a young Jewish woman, who turned her own family over to the Nazis, believing that they would be incarcerated but not harmed, and that she would be able to be loyal to Germany and lead a 'normal' life, rather than hiding in the attic.
Predictably, her parents are killed and she is captured and sent to a concentration camp where she is physically and emotionally abused - at first she doesn't care, wanting only death, but upon learning that her parents location was already known to the nazis loses her guilt complex and submits to the general in charge of the camp in order to stay alive, eventually falling in love with him.

When she has his son however (still at the camp) the general has the baby taken away and killed, as 'a Jew will have no good life in the new world'.

Lisa, devastated by the betrayal, continues to fake her affection for the general, eventually testifying on his behalf at his war crime trial in order to get his charges dropped - so that she can return to the camp with him and kill him herself!
See? A pretty good story!

Unfortunately the film is utter crap - the camp in question is a sex-camp, where attractive Jewish women and taken to serve German solders on leave.

It's a nasty little rape-for-titillation movie, that manages to be offensive not only to women - but to the nazis.

I know it's odd to think that the Nazis could be badly portrayed in a movie (as in, portrayed in a negative light) but here, ordinary German solders are portrayed as sex crazed idiots, who would enthusiastically charge across a room to rape women en-mass, simply because they have permission.

It's also badly acted, and what few 'scare' scene there are are atrocious - women are dissolved in quicklime which stays white, and out heroin is at one point dressed in knickers made of human hair (!) and dangled over a pit of ravenous... Gerbils.

Both better and more offensive than 'Beast in Heat' but still one to avoid.

By the way the one 'good' German (a doctor who tries to help the girls) is by far the best endowed - he also just happens to be ginger - just sayin'

Body Count: 15
Boob Count: 37 pairs
Animal Body Count: O
Most Memorable Death: Clean and Quick(Lime)





Please use the comments bellow only to comment on this post - to write your own review, please comment on the main post for this movie.

10 Mar 2012

The Gestapo's last orgy - Lisa's Review


Where do I start with this one? I thought we had another 'Beast in Heat' here, but although on the surface, it may appear to be your typical Nazi sexploitation movie (bit cheesy with hammy sex scenes, lots of nudity and a pretty sparse story line - the sort of thing your average person who thinks they like a bit of S&M might enjoy). I wasn't that long into the movie before I had decided this one wasn't for me.

This movie contained 1 of only 2 subjects I find deeply uncomfortable, that of sexual abuse (if any regular readers exist, they will know the other subject is animal cruelty/torture/death).

While The Beast in Heat was too ridiculous and camp to find offensive, this one definately has an altogether different feel. The abuse is cruel, violent, humiliating and degrading and it was something I found hard to watch. I didn't find the rest of the movie was handled in a serious enough light given these kind of scenes.

Something I found even more repugnant was the leading lady (yet another Lisa.. what is it with nasties and Lisa's) and her switch from refusal to give in to the Nazi's and wanting to die, to her falling in love with the lead Nazi, even simulating giving a gun he points at her a blow job. It kind of cheapens what the POWs are going through and to me, the 2 completely contrary viewpoints didn't gel in a movie that was in any way poignant. Sure I've heard of Stockholm Syndrome and they may have been angling that sort of direction, but for me, it wasn't an intelligent enough movie to carry this off with any sort of conviction.

I won't waste my own time or any other readers time going into any significant detail about the movie other than to say if you enjoy crap movies with bad acting, a weak plot, a laughable script and delight in seeing women degraded and abused for sexual kicks, then you may enjoy this. I for one wouldn't recommend it.

A mention must go however to the cute gerbils masquerading as rats. I did enjoy them.




Please use the comments bellow only to comment on this post - to write your own review, please comment on the main post for this movie.

4 Mar 2012

Week 42: The Gestapo's Last Orgy



Alternate Titles : L'Ultima Orgia del III Reich, Bourreaux SS, Last Orgy of the Third Reich, Des Filles pour le Bourreau, Caligula Reincarnated as Hitler
Year: 1977
Reviews / Author Comments due: 10/3/12
DPP Status: Successfully Prosecuted
BBFC Status: Still banned

Trailer unavailable





Feel free to use the comments section of this post to add your own reviews and thoughts about this movie.

3 Mar 2012

The Funhouse - Lisa's Review


***SPOILERS***

I'm still pondering over what I thought about this movie and to be honest I can't come to a conclusion. I would say had I watched it at a similar time to all the horrors my dad rented in when I was a kid (Carrie, Maximum Overdrive, Christine, Firestarter.. yup he liked Stephen King) then I would have enjoyed it, but as an adult with a love of horror, I can't say I was very impressed.

The movie is mostly set in a carnival (an idea which I loved) where 4 teenagers discover some altogether darker things are occuring behind the scenes at the hands of one of the fair workers son, who is monstrously disfigured and obviously not the full shilling. He's a bit of a sad character who in places just seemed to want some companionship and love, but as with so many 'monsters' mans nature turn it bad. Some character building and a bit more background would have helped matters enormously there but I just don't feel we were invited to care enough about the unfortunate 'monster' of the movie.

Initially, when I read that Tobe Hooper was involved with this movie, I was looking forward to watching it and when I think about it, I quite enjoyed the half of the movie where we are introduced to the main female lead Amy, her younger brother Joey and her boyfriend and another couple. Some of the aspects of the carnival were either interesting or amusing like the 2 headed cow and the worlds crappest burlesque show, but once we supposedly 'got going' I started losing interest.

The murders are all pretty tame stuff and I struggled to work out why this movie was ever placed on the infamous list. We have one murder completely off screen by way of a air conditioning fan (at least I think that's what it was), a hanging, a hatchet in the head of a dead body with hardly any blood, a conveniently placed sword impaling... you get the drift.

I didn't feel any empathy with the characters or the would be monster. The makeup for the monster was quite good for its time, but I struggle to think of much to say about most of the movie other than 'it was ok'. I was disappointed with the lack of that ominous undertone Hooper is famous for, especially with a carnival as a backdrop!! Ultimate in creepiness, but in this movie, it was sadly lacking.

The only part that I thought was of any interest was a prank Joey plays on his older sister Amy at the start of the movie. The ultimate in pranks and rather sick but bloody effective! Big nod to Psycho there.

In conclusion, I would say, big slasher buffs could give it a watch purely for it being another of 'those' movies of 'that' era, you may find it a pleasant enough watch, but I found it rather dull after it lost pace for me.

Bring back the scares please!!!


Please use the comments bellow only to comment on this post - to write your own review, please comment on the main post for this movie.

The Funhouse - Will's Review

A fairly mainstream entry this week, distributed by Universal, and with creature makeup design by Rick Baker, this is NOT the kind of movie you expect to see sandwiched between  Cannibal Holocaust and Faces of Death. It has an innocuous enough title, and even the box art isn't particularly menacing (the wonderful deformed mouth of the theatrical poster is replaced with a jack-in-the-box that I don't think even appears in the movie).



If fact, the only thing that could possibly have red-flagged this movie to the puritans is the director - this is Tobe Hooper's 2nd entry on the list (after Week 18's Death Trap), but even that doesn't make sense as his most famous (and nastiest) work The Texas Chain Saw Massacre is conspicuous by its  inexplicable absence from the DPP list.

Still, here it is; so enough about why...

SPOILERS FOLLOW


Looking the film up online, you'll find it tends to get listed as a slasher, although I'm not sure there's enough actual slashing for it to qualify; that said the atmosphere is pure 80's slasher movie, so I'm willing to class it as one on those grounds.

Plot wise, 4 teens go to the carnival and decide, for reasons best known to themselves, that the funhouse (ghost train) would be a good place to spend the night, so they buy a ticket and bail out of the cars to get themselves locked in.

While inside, they peer down into the basement (how a traveling carnival has a basement to its rides I don't know) and see one of the ride operators pay the fortune seller for sex - except he finishes early (way early) and loses his temper (with fatal consequences) when she won't refund him.

Said ride operator, by the way, communicates in grunts and wears a pretty cool Frankenstein mask, which he refuses to take off even for his paid-for rumpy-pumpy. Predictably enough, when the mask finally does come off (while his father, the barker, is beating him for killing 'one of their own') he is hideously deformed.

I have a problem with this; if you are a carnival barker, and your son is a 2 nosed, gnarl toothed albino, why on earth would you cover that with a Frankenstein mask? He could preform his job just as well as-is, and have people assume it's a mask or (even better) teach him how to eat lightbubs or bite the heads off of chickens and stick him in the freakshow! It seems like to great of an opportunity to miss!

But no, his father dresses him up as a different freak and sets him to work loading people into funhouse cars... Whatever...

Anyway, the father realises that our teens have witnessed the murder, and so sets his son to work getting rid of the witnesses.

The monster makeup is, I have to say, disappointing; his 'real' face looks more like a mask than the mask he covers it with! I expect better from Baker, and can only assume that the budget didn't allow for much time or great materials.

The funhouse itself offers a nice claustrophobic setting, although it gets a bit limited after a while, and it might have been nice to see the action spill out into the carnival grounds.

All in all not a bad little movie if you like low-rent 80s slashers, not the best film we've seen so far, but far FAR from the worst!

Body count: 6
Boob Count: 1 pair (plus 3 more with nipples, but only nipples, covered)
Animal Body Count: 0
Most Memorable Death: Electrocution on screen, seizure in your living room!  


Please use the comments bellow only to comment on this post - to write your own review, please comment on the main post for this movie.

26 Feb 2012

WEEK 41: The Funhouse



Alternate Titles : Carnival of Terror, The Funhouse: Carnival of Terror
Year: 1981
Reviews / Author Comments due: 3/3/2012
DPP Status: Removed from list June 1985
Wikipedia: The Funhouse
DVD: Uncut R2
Free to watch online: See Here




Feel free to use the comments section of this post to add your own reviews and thoughts about this movie.

25 Feb 2012

Frozen Scream - Lisa's Review

Okaaaaaay, so I'm starting this review of a movie I missed a couple of months ago, wondering what on earth I'm going to write.... not because I don't know what I think of the movie, but because I have absolutely NO IDEA what on earth was going on.

Was I supposed to be confused?  Was it supposed to make sense?  because if the answer to the first question is No and the second is Yes, then I'm a complete retard as I'm still trying to work out what exactly the point of it all was.

What I managed to work out both by watching this piece of dross and my reading what the plot was actually supposed to be about on IMDB was, that a scientist is working on a formula for eternal life but it turns out inadvertently discovers something that can create frozen zombies.  He is murdered by some other scientists who want to pursue the frozen zombie thing.  When his wife has recovered from the ordeal, she seeks out a detective (who just so happens to be her ex who still has designs on her and makes it very creepily clear through the whole movie) to get to the bottom of whats going on.  Now I hope he did better than me getting to the bottom of it all, but since he seems to be in on it, I would like to think so!!
This movie is dull, makes no sense, flits about all over the place, so when you're trying to make sense of one thing, something else nonsensical happens and leaves me even more confused.

There are lots of voice overs, even over conversations taking place, so if you were hoping listening to convo's would help you grasp a better understanding of it all, think again.

The acting is probably the worst we've seen so far on the list and given some of the movies we've watched, that's saying something!  Its a good job I watched this early in a morning when I had just got up and wasn't at all tired as its a great cure for insomnia.   Try watching a movie in a foreign language with no subtitles and you will just be about there with how confused I was.  Thing was... I didn't care anyway, so I didn't rewind like I usually do if I miss something, I just wanted it to be over.

Bloody awful movie.  Avoid at all costs!



Please use the comments bellow only to comment on this post - to write your own review, please comment on the main post for this movie.

Frozen Scream - Wills Review

Back in week 27, I commented that Devil Hunter was "so dull that [I] had forgotten most of it before it finished".

This week, I found myself looking back on the excitement that was Devil Hunter. With that in mind, this is going to be short...

The plot seemed to be about 2 groups of scientists who were both after the same eternal life formula, and a woman who had somthing to do with it had her ex, a PI investigate... something.

The "acting" was woefully incompetent  from the entire cast, and the direction flat. Also the voice-over (never a great device at the best of times) would frequently cut in over other conversations.

Avoid.

Body Count: 9
Boob Count: 1 (and i think it was an accident)
Most Memorable Death:My enthusiasm...

Please use the comments bellow only to comment on this post - to write your own review, please comment on the main post for this movie.

19 Feb 2012

Week 40: Frozen Scream



Alternate Titles: n/a
Year: 1975
Reviews / Author Comments due: 25/02/2012
DPP Status: Removed from list October 1984
BBFC Status: Never Submitted
Wikipedia: Frozen Scream

No Trailer Online - Will try to rectify this...





Feel free to use the comments section of this post to add your own reviews and thoughts about this movie.

18 Feb 2012

Forrest of Fear - Lisa's Review

I'm not going to waste much time in reviewing this movie, as I feel more than enough was wasted in the watching of it. Quite early in the review to inflict my opinion on you, but there it is. This movie is absolute pants!!!

The basic premis is a group of hippies growing marijuana in in remote forest. The FBI, aware of what they are doing set off to put a stop to it. For some reason, they see fit to dispatch one of the female hippies who got the obligatory boob shot in right at the start of the movie by shooting her rather unconvincingly in the throat. The hippies, either in revenge, or to protect their rather large plantation do away with the agents.

Wondering where their colleagues are, 2 agents decide it would be a good idea to dust the crops with a powerful herbicide which has not been fully tested and is known to have some rather odd side effects. They hire a drunken, has-been pilot to do this to keep it all hush hush. The only somewhat amusing scene in the entire movie is the hard time this guys nagging wife gives him and how she talks about him to the agents on the phone. He deserves a medal!

So, crops are sprayed, weird shit starts happening to all contaminated which include the pilot and the hippies. Thankfully the nagging wife gets her comeuppance which is something I suppose. The hippies kill a few people. Its all rather unconvincing and not in the slightest bit scary. It feels like someone is stood off camera ready to throw a bucket of blood in when any action happens.

A few more characters are introduced in the form of a married couple, their daughter and their retarded son. The parents of course meet a grizzly end and the kids are left to fend for themselves. We also have a forest ranger, his wife and his brother who decide to go fishing.

Another scene which deserves a mention is the scene in which the wife wants to go on the trip but hasn't been invited by her husband (he just doesn't want her there). When she starts to get moody with him, he reaches out and grabs her top, tearing the shoulder. Her reply is "Hey" and she rips his shirt open popping all the buttons (remember these guys are meant to be pissed at each other).... he then predictably rips her top off and they get to it. We almost got a 2nd boob count here, but not quite. Bloody awful!!

So a few people die, a few hippies become 'zombified'. Thats about the height of it.

The acting is pants, the makeup is pants, the general feel of the movie is pants. There are a couple of vaguely humorous scenes, but they weren't meant to be funny - They just are because they're so bad!

Don't waste your time with this one. There doesn't seem to be any good reason to watch it. We were due a stinker though, so not too disappointed.




Please use the comments bellow only to comment on this post - to write your own review, please comment on the main post for this movie.

Forrest of Fear - Will's Review

Forrest of Fear

The plot outline I read for this while preparing the stats page was as follows:

Zombies are created from hippies smoking weed that has been contaminated by pesticide. They then go on a flesh hunt.”
- From the usually excellent “Melon Farmers” Censorship watch page

That was a movie I wanted to see! Unfortunately, the real plot was

“Not-quite-zombies are created from not-really-hippies harvesting weed when they get hit by herbicide intended to kill the crop. They then shamble around killing the odd person, but only occasionally eating flesh.”

Which just isn’t as much fun! Zombie-hippies is hilarious, Killer-amateur-farmers? Not so much!

My first clue that these were not “hippies” (Although they are referred to as such once in the movie) was when they killed the 2 feds who wwre looking for them and their crop. What the hell kind of hippies shoot feds? That said, what the hell kind of feds wear blue jeans and flannel shirts!?

As you may have gathered from the above mentioned feds ‘uniforms’, low-rent isn’t the word, and lazy plotting shortly follows as another FBI agent elects to cut through the need for red-tape and approval, by paying a drunken crop duster to blanket the area with some experimental herbicide that is, for reasons we are not privy to, in a shed that the FBI agent has access to. No mention of the fact that this could kill off the entire forest is made, but he does decide that it doesn’t matter if it kills the “hippies”…

So a bunch of the dope-growers get dusted with white powder from the plain (the pilot somehow gets himself covered too) .

They then get sick and eventually start, as I said, shambling around killing the odd person, but only occasionally eating flesh.

I always think it’s a shame when a zombie movie fails to provide any enjoyment; its one of the few sub-genres where a semi-competent director can usually scrape together a film that, if not good, is at least entertaining, regardless of shonky acting, naff script and bad mak-up. Unfortunately, even against these odds, this movie managed to be dull as dishwater almost throughout.

Sadly, after a few weeks of watchable movies, this week was a return to dross.

Body Count: 21
Boob Count: 1 pair (just 2 mins in, as though to get them out of the way)
Animal Body Count: 0
Most Memorable Death: ???




Please use the comments bellow only to comment on this post - to write your own review, please comment on the main post for this movie.

13 Feb 2012

WEEK 39: Forrest of Fear




Alternate Titles : Blood Butchers, Blood Eaters, Bloodeaters, Toxic Zombies
Year: 1979
Reviews / Author Comments due: 18/2/2012
DPP Status: Successfully Prosecuted
BBFC Status: Never resubmitted, therefore technically still banned.
Wikipedia: Toxic Zombies
DVD: Region 1


Feel free to use the comments section of this post to add your own reviews and thoughts about this movie.

11 Feb 2012

Flesh For Frankenstein - Wills Review

Udo Kier (last seen, by us at least, in Esposé), along with the rest of the cast, completely hams his way through this one, chewing so much scenery that it HAD to be a deliberate choice; we know he can do better!


I struggled long and hard trying to work out how seriously we were supposed to take this; it’s not belly laugh funny, but lines like “Finally, we have the right head, with the perfect nazum for my male zombie” really only belong in a comedy. Sure enough a quick look online tells us that this is, indeed, supposed to be a comedic take on the Frankenstein story. 

But this is no Young Frankenstein; this dark and unorthodox take on the tale bares little resemblance to the book or, as far as I know, any other filmed version.

Here, the baron is not only a mad scientist, but a perverse megalomaniac. Married to his sister, he has a quiet contempt for his children (who, technically, are also his nephew and niece) a strong dislike for humanity, and a sexual fetish for girl’s internal organs.

“To understand Life, Otto, You must fuck life in the Gall Bladder”

Frankenstein’s plan is to build a Male and Female ‘zombies’ and have them mate, thus creating a new race. When we join the tale, the male creature is still missing a head; one which the baron insists must have a strong Serbian nazum (nose) and come from an incredibly horny man.

The usual “abnormal brain” device is here substituted with a case of mistaken identity. In a mix-up worthy of a carry-on film, Frankenstein and his hapless assistant, Otto, manage to select an asexual man who wished to become a monk. Meanwhile the Baroness hires the real horny man as her ‘personal’ manservant…

You may have gathered by now that there is a lot of sex in this movie, any you’d be right, the sex is frequent, but inexplicit. In-fact, it would take few (if any) script changes to re-film this as “Frankenstein: A XXXParody”.

Originally in 3D, the movie does suffer from a few “Comin’at Ya!” moments, where things are held out towards the camera for prolonged periods and/or unnatural ways (including a preserved heart, held in forceps at arms length) thankfully most of the depth was added to the movie by placing certain objects and pieces of scenery in the foreground, while keeping the action midground, and so you don’t get too many moments where you feel cheated to be watching the 2D version. (no 3D version is currently legally available, although a Field Sequential version was released on Lazerdisc, and DVD bootlegs of this can be found, also Channel 4 showed it in Blue and Amber Anaglyph in 2009).

All in all a fun movie, that almost makes up in sheer bonkersness what it lacks in intrinsic quality. Oh, and the ending is great!


Body Count: 10
Boob Count: 5 pairs
Animal Body Count: 0
Most Memorable Death: 3D Curved Shears of Death!

Please use the comments bellow only to comment on this post - to write your own review, please comment on the main post for this movie.