16 Jun 2012

Mardi Gras Massacre - Lisa's Review

*** SPOILERS ***

I'm not going to waste anyone's time with this weeks review.  I'm not in any way confused with my viewpoints this week- This movie is shite!

To start with, there is certainly no massacre and there is no hint of it being Mardi Gras until right at the end of the movie, so how they came up with the title is anyones guess.

The acting (especially by the 'bad guy') is absolutely horrendous to the point of hilarious.  His speech is monotone and he constantly attempts to sound menacing but only succeeds in sounding retarded.

This is basically like watching 'Blood Feast' all over again.  Everything is eerilly similar, but if it is possible, this movie is much, much worse.

The basic premis is our guy goes into a 'gentlemans club' shall we say.. and asks for the most evil prostitute.  While we're on the subject of the place, I found myself wondering what the hell was going on with the 'dancers'.  Anyone who finds them remotely alluring with their crap 70's style Top of The Pops dancing needs help.

So back to the premis.  He goes off home with an evil prostitute and proceeds to tie them to a 'bed'.  He then pours hot oil over them and massages them, goes behind a curtain and comes out dressed in a ridiculous gold mask.  He then proceeds to cut their hands and feet and cut into their abdomen (with really bad latex effects) and pulling out their hearts.  I use 'their' all the way through this, as the deaths of all the women are identical in every case!  It made me wonder what on earth the point was of showing them all?

All the while this is going on there are completely inept cops trying to solve the case.  One of them strikes up a relationship with one of the prostitutes (who obviously is going to end up at the mercy of our nutcase) and they finally manage to track the guy down with her help and some questioning.

The ending is crap which is just what I expected.  No high point here (well I suppose it ended, that's a high point).  It all falls to a very swift, brief , very disappointing anti-climax.

I would say 'Avoid' to everyone.  The only reason to watch this one is if, like us, you want to do the 'Nasties'  list in its entirety!  I for one will never be watching it again.

Please use the comments bellow only to comment on this post - to write your own review, please comment on the main post for this movie.

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