Nightmares in a Damaged Brain - Will's Review

You know how the saying goes; Another week, another forgettable (though not entirely terrible) slasher with the word nightmare in its title!

This week, our leading man goes by the name of George Tatum and has spent an indeterminate amount of time in some kind of experimental medical facility, where he is the first person to be declared successfully cured of psychopathy by a state of the art technique.

His being 'cured' however, leaves me with 2 questions; who does he regularly wake screaming from a dream about an axe murder, and why are the guys who run the facility so worried about his escape near the beginning of the movie?

MINOR SPOILERS

A reasonable person might be inclined to think that someone who frequently dreams about a couple engaged in a light bondage session suffer coitus interrupts by way of an axe, while a young boy looks on, might not be all that stable. A reasonable person would be right!

And so Tatum  makes a beeline for a family which is so clearly his own (it's supposed to be a surprise when we find that out - it isn't) killing anyone he encounters.

There's a hint that Tatum 's rehabilitation might be part o some sinister government programme, but as this may have given the movie a point of interest, the idea is quickly dropped.

The Italian influence is obvious in this one, even though it's an American movie, unfortunately the galioesk feel that is played over the opening scenes is quickly dropped in favour of a more typical low-rent post-Halloween stalk an slash, albeit a slightly confused one.

Forgettable but not utterly terrible.

Body Count: 8

Boob Count: 1 Pair

Most Memorable Death: Quit Ice-Picking on me!

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Madhouse - Wills Review

Right off the bat I'm going to tell you I enjoyed this one. It's a slasher, which puts me on 'home turf' as were, so I may be a little biased, but I really enjoyed it.

Don't get me wrong, it can drag a little in the first two acts, but once things start to unfold... The last 20 mins is more than worth the price of admission; not because of any over the top gore (worst luck) but what it lacks in the red stuff in more than makes up for in batshit insanity!

And it has a really bad glove puppet dog in it too!

The trouble is that the good stuff all happens after a twist at around the hour mark, so if you read any further you're going to have it spoiled.

Go away right now, and don't come back until you've seen the film!

Oh, and make sure it's the one from 1981 - there are about a million (well, 6) completely unrelated films all called "Madhouse".

GO!



Still here? Good, So you've seen the film and don't need a synopsis.

I dug the twist, and I really dug that they set up a false twist. Between Julia's account of her sisters abuse ("It was almost like I was doing it to myself") and the fact that we never saw the killers face I was convinced it was her... but no!

Then her uncle turned out to be the killer, and I was positive the sister was already dead - but now, she was (one of the) killer(s), and they are working together!

Then the uncle kills her too - Genius!

I can even forgive the dog killing, because the dog" that got killed was more like Spit than a real Rottweiler! (Did anyone else notice that the dog was clearly really friendly, and had clips holding his mouth in a fake snarl?), and the Cat (presumably) got killed off screen.

So yes, It could have been a bit better paced, and yes it would have been nice to see some gore, but I loved the insane uncle so much that I'm giving this one my seal of approval.

Body Count: 6

Boob Count: 0

Animal Body Count: 2

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Don't look in the basement - Lisa's Review

*** SPOILERS ***

I'm not quite sure what I'm going to write as I start this review as I'm making up my mind what I think about it as I type.

Hmmmm. Well as I started watching I thought 'This is going to be monumentally shite'. The way it was shot, the acting, the characters.... as it continued though it developed an odd kind of charm. Its the kind of movie, I thought that I would like to see remade in the modern day. I have been reliably informed that it is indeed being remade. THAT I would be interested to see. The reason for this is that in retrospect, I enjoyed the actual storyline and the concept and the 'idea' of the characters in this movie, I just wasn't overly keen on the execution of the story.

The basic premis here is an open asylum for the insane (of all descriptions) where the patients are encouraged to 'act out' their hallucinations and imaginations to help cure their illnesses. Oddly one of the patients (an ex judge) is encouraged to 'vent' by chopping things up with a huge axe. I'm sure you can figure out where thats going..... There is no security, no bars, no locks, no-one to look after these guys apart from a surly female doctor (Dr Masters) who seems to have a love of cruelty and inflicting pain. She is the only one left following the dispatch of the head doctor (Dr Stephens) by way of axe by aforementioned patient.

Amongst the other patients are a nymphomanic, an irritating screaming woman who is convinced a doll is her baby, a hallucinating ex vietnam vet (yup, yet another one!), an old woman who spends her time being freaky and spouting old rhymes, a lobotomy patient with a childlike innocent nature but a massive stature, an extremely irritating screeching ginger twat and a really dull, seemingly depressed young woman.

We are however later joined by the gorgeous young nurse to complete our set who says that Dr Stephens took her on several weeks ago and she was arriving to commence her employment.

We get to know our characters and strange things start to happen... patients are murdered (along with a visiting telephone repair man), the old dear has her tongue ripped out (it seems she knows something and someone is trying to silence her).

We find out late on in the movie that Dr Masters, our remaining doctor, is in fact not a doctor, but a patient, who is 'acting out' her illness as with the other patients. Dr Stephen used to allow her to pretend to be a doctor. I didn't see this coming at all and was pleasantly suprised by this twist.

The rest of the movie concentrates on the young nurse Charlotte trying to escape as suddenly the entire asylum is under lock-down with no means of escape.

The film as you can imagine ends messily and well actually. I won't break it down completely for anyone wanting to watch the remake, but our lobotomy victim seems to be the only one left at the end after dispatching with all the patients. He does however help Charlotte to escape the madhouse.

This little movie wasn't too bad at all. It was ruined by the camera work, some of the script and some very cheesy acting performances, but the plotline was solid enough and I will be really interested to see the remake. I would definately recommend it to people who like weird or odd little movies.

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Don't Look In The Basement - Will's Review

I am so undecided about this movie. On the one hand I don't really see much in the way of redeeming features, on the other hand, I found it quite an easy watch. That said, I'm not sure an asylum set exploitation movie should be easy to watch...


It seems to be equally schizophrenic about itself;  the movies 'twist' is given away on the poster, but it seems from the movie that the filmmakers wanted to surprise you with it.

I'm not sure if the twist would have been a surprise or not of the poster, tagline and trailer hadn't ruined it going in - it certainly seems well enough executed that you might not have spotted it, but it's such a cliché that you may well have been ready for it. Also - it cheats! I don't really buy that  none of the inmates would have said anything sooner than try do

Speaking of the inmates, one thing that did strike me was the size of the cast! There are only 13 people in the entire movie (not even so much as an extra in the background) but almost every one of them (with the possible exception of the telephone repair man) is an actual character (and all but 2 of them will die before the credits roll, which is a heck of a cast:kill ratio!)

So what of the plot? The asylum in which the movie is set is far from conventional - its curator, a Doctor Stephens, has rather unusual ideas about how to treat insanity; his potentially groundbreaking 'obsession development therapy' in which patients are encouraged to live out thier dilutions, in the hope that they become so big they'll go away...  or something. I can't say it sounds like the best plan...

Anyway, the day before our heroin (nurse Beal) starts at the asylum, Doctor Stephens is 'treating' an axe-obsessed patient... By allowing him to chop wood with a scary, sharp, axe. What could possibly go wrong?

With the main doctor dead, and the previous nurse having handed in her resignation, the last remaining staff member, Doctor Masters, decided to greet the new girl and carry on the running of the place as normal!

Most of the rest of the movie is simply the asylum going about its business, but the colourful collection of inmates keep it from getting dull - there's an ex soldier who still belies that 'they' are coming every night, an enormous man child (the result of Stephens' final lobotomy - and the reason he quit surgery), a woman who's obsessed with a tiny tears doll, a catatonic / mute woman, an axe-obsessed justice I the peace, and old lady who thinks that flowers are her children, a nymphomaniac, and a generically-mad ginger.

The biggest problem I think, is the pacing of the murders... 2 happen  at the beginning of the film, but most of the rest happen in (literally) the last scene. I think if the twist had been hidden, and the kills spread 'whodunnit' style throughout the movie, this one could have been quite good - I certainly hope that that's the direction next year's remake will take.  As it stands its a flat, but not unpleasant, way to kill and hour and a half.

Body count: 11
Boob count: 1 pair
Animal Body count: 0
Most memorable death: let me axe you somethin' Doc...

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