SS Experiment Love Camp - Will's Review

Our last Nazi Nasty! Horray! And this one isn't even that bad (by the, admittedly low, standard set by the others anyway).

The basic premise is the same as in all of these things; female POWs are kept at a special camp where they will act as whores to the third reich, and nasty experiments shall be run on them.

This time though, the women are German political prisoner (rather than Jewish women as is the norm) and are warranted slightly better treatment - they are rewarded for complicity, and (although they have no choice and therefor this is still rape) the sexual encounters are much gentler than we are used to, and do not at least look like violent assaults.

Likewise the experiments are (mostly) related to sex, with the exception of a strange electric chair bit, a few who are stuffed into the incinerator unconscious, rather than dead, and experimental overy transplants, which universally end in death.

There's also a semblance of a story this time; the colonel who runs the camp is unable to 'preform' because his testicles were bitten off (!) and he is using the sex-based experiments to find a suitable donor for testicle transplant surgery.

For all that though, this is still a film we've seen several times before these last 66 weeks, albeit a watered down version, so I really don't have much else to say, so I'll leave you with a question:

What indeed...

Body Count: 23
Boob Count: 18 Pairs 

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Killer Nun - Will's Review

Nunspoitation; A genre that conjures up images of massive lesbian orgies in kinky short habits, or at the very least something like this:

... Unless that's just me?

In any case, there's nun of that here. Just some lame murders (and one cool one) and a plot "twist" that's telegraphed right from the start...

***Spoilers follow***


Movie rule number 1: If a character you assume is the lead keeps talking to someone, but you never actually see their face; It IS NOT the lead character.

Movie rule number 2: If you never see the supposed killer kill anyone, the ARE NOT the real killer.

Everyone knows this, Right?

So when we keep cutting between the, admittedly less-than-nunly, shenanigans of morphine-addicted Sister Gertrude, murders committed by nunly hands of indeterminate origin, and a never-seen nun in confessional saying that she "won't stop" "Punishing men" because of "What he did to me" it should be patently obvious that  Gertrude isn't the killer, or the Nun in the confessional.

Anyway, our nuns here work in a hospital (I would call it a retirement home, but just one or two of the patents / inmates aren't old enough) and as Gurtrude starts to loose it (through her morphine addiction) she starts to get less popular with the residents, especially the old lady who's dentures she stamps on in a fit of rage! Sadly, the Hospital envrionment is really only used in one of the kills - in which a woman is tortured by being stabbed in the face (and through an eyeball) with hypodermic needles, while her mouth is taped shut with medical tape, which is not only the best kill, but also the highlight of the entire movie.

Not entirely unwatchable if you have time to kill, but there are a hell of a lot of movies out there I'd see first.

Body Count: 6
Boob COunt: 2 Pairs
Animal Body Count: 0
Most Memorable Death: Accupuncture - ur doing it wrong!

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The House on the Edge of The Park - Will's Reviews

This is one of the few (3 so far I think) nasties I have already seen, It turned up on a 10 movies budget pack I bought on import from Canada years ago, I remember being impressed then, and I enjoyed it on a re-watch too..

Yes, I liked it! I know that Lisa will have a very different opinion, I haven't checked her review before writing mine (I never do) but I just know we will disagree on the Rape and sexual harassment scenes - and once you disagree on those, you aren't going to reach a consensus as they make up 90% of the movie!

In short, I'll have to be proven VERY wrong for this one to get a VNAW Recommends badge...

The film (directed by Cannibal Holocaust's Ruggero Deodato) opens with our lead character, Alex (the late David Hess), stalking, raping and killing a woman - the stalking is very well filmed, just the right amount of shaky cam to make it feel very claustrophobic, and i think the rape itself is well handled. While I am sure there exists a certain type of man who might'get off' on this, I felt that the rape was shown as a nasty and violent act - yes, the camera go up close and gave us lingering shots of breast and genitals, but this was not a posing woman 'sexing it up' and to me, these close ups were a violation, in much the same way the rape was shown to be. I'm sure there exists a type of man (possibly even woman) who will enjoy this as titilation, but to me it drove home the humiliation.

Alex apparently gets away with his crime, and we join him some time later (a year later, as we will find out) where his is finishing up for the night at the garage he owns, where he works with his (slightly challenged) friend, Ricky.

When a couple of Yuppies pull in to the garage as he is closing, he agrees to let Ricky fix their car, in exchange for an invite to the party they are headed to.

Once at the party, the hosts and their well-to-do friends waste no time in humiliating the duo, encouraging Ricky to dance and strip (while they point and laugh), while one of the women does everything she can to lead Alex on - even inviting him into the shower with her and washing him, before telling him he has no-chance.

I don't want to use the phrase "Asking for it" - but these idiots sure could have seen it coming... invite two strangers into your house then humiliate them - Not. Smart.

And so, when Alex decides that enough is enough the tables turn and it becomes a home-invasion movie - think Ils, The Strangers or even Week 37's Fight for your life - but with more sexual abuse and, in the case of fight, less racial hatred.

The women are all forced to bear at least there breast (most are stripped comply) Alex's Cock-tease gets taken up-stairs and raped, and Ricky is "gifted" his first choice of the women (Although he seems to like the idea, the reality is a different story and he is unable to go through with it).

There is also a particularly brutal razor assault on virginal time younger woman who drops by, that is hard to watch - made harder by those damned intrusive camera shots like the opening rape.

It's not without it's faults one of the women's behavior towards Ricky is just ridiculous in context, and the 'twist' is both predictable and pathetic, but all in all this one is worth your time... if you have the stomach for it.

Body Count: 2
Boob Count: 5 pairs
Animal Body Count: 0
Most memorable death: Like a floating pinata; only with bullets instead of sticks...

As an aside - Hess was set to star in a sequel to be released this year, reprising his roll as a 75 year old, newly released from prison, Alex. As far as I know though, this was never filmed before his unexpected death.

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Don't Look In The Basement - Will's Review

I am so undecided about this movie. On the one hand I don't really see much in the way of redeeming features, on the other hand, I found it quite an easy watch. That said, I'm not sure an asylum set exploitation movie should be easy to watch...


It seems to be equally schizophrenic about itself;  the movies 'twist' is given away on the poster, but it seems from the movie that the filmmakers wanted to surprise you with it.

I'm not sure if the twist would have been a surprise or not of the poster, tagline and trailer hadn't ruined it going in - it certainly seems well enough executed that you might not have spotted it, but it's such a cliché that you may well have been ready for it. Also - it cheats! I don't really buy that  none of the inmates would have said anything sooner than try do

Speaking of the inmates, one thing that did strike me was the size of the cast! There are only 13 people in the entire movie (not even so much as an extra in the background) but almost every one of them (with the possible exception of the telephone repair man) is an actual character (and all but 2 of them will die before the credits roll, which is a heck of a cast:kill ratio!)

So what of the plot? The asylum in which the movie is set is far from conventional - its curator, a Doctor Stephens, has rather unusual ideas about how to treat insanity; his potentially groundbreaking 'obsession development therapy' in which patients are encouraged to live out thier dilutions, in the hope that they become so big they'll go away...  or something. I can't say it sounds like the best plan...

Anyway, the day before our heroin (nurse Beal) starts at the asylum, Doctor Stephens is 'treating' an axe-obsessed patient... By allowing him to chop wood with a scary, sharp, axe. What could possibly go wrong?

With the main doctor dead, and the previous nurse having handed in her resignation, the last remaining staff member, Doctor Masters, decided to greet the new girl and carry on the running of the place as normal!

Most of the rest of the movie is simply the asylum going about its business, but the colourful collection of inmates keep it from getting dull - there's an ex soldier who still belies that 'they' are coming every night, an enormous man child (the result of Stephens' final lobotomy - and the reason he quit surgery), a woman who's obsessed with a tiny tears doll, a catatonic / mute woman, an axe-obsessed justice I the peace, and old lady who thinks that flowers are her children, a nymphomaniac, and a generically-mad ginger.

The biggest problem I think, is the pacing of the murders... 2 happen  at the beginning of the film, but most of the rest happen in (literally) the last scene. I think if the twist had been hidden, and the kills spread 'whodunnit' style throughout the movie, this one could have been quite good - I certainly hope that that's the direction next year's remake will take.  As it stands its a flat, but not unpleasant, way to kill and hour and a half.

Body count: 11
Boob count: 1 pair
Animal Body count: 0
Most memorable death: let me axe you somethin' Doc...

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The Beast in Heat - Lisa's Review

*** CONTAINS SPOILERS ***

I am torn with this movie. Part of me found it extremely distasteful and sick (the first so far where I could understand what all the fuss was about) but the other part of me found it too much like soft porn or movies like 'Flesh Gordon' to take in any way seriously. Had this movie been filmed with a darker mood and in all seriousness, I probably would have had problems watching it all the way through. That's not due to it being particularly horrific or having scenes which were bad enough for it to warrant prosecution, but just due to the fact I am a female viewer and much as I don't like typical sexist stereotypes, I think there are specific acts which men find easier to view than women.

There was 1 scene in this entire movie where a crying baby is snatched from its mother by a german officer and thrown into the air and shot (off camera) which is probably the only 'nasty' part in this movie played out seriously.

The general storyline involves a female nazi officers' experiment, where she creates a neanderthal-looking, sex-crazed creature, which spends the movies duration in a cage naked. Female prisoners are subjected to being thrown into the cage so this 'monster' can have his way with them while prison guards and the officers look on in amusement. These scenes are not particularly shocking, but more amusing to be honest as this incompetant, brainless creature does what only an animal could do, including ripping out the hair on one particularly thick muff. Thats something thats plentiful in this movie... very hairy female genitals! Makes you want to rush onto the set with some wax strips....

Also plentiful are boobs of all sizes and shapes. This movie is most definately one for the men as it just exploits women from start to finish. They just seem to be there for the eye candy to me. In saying that, the main movie villan is a woman, but her character is also something meant to appeal to the men and even she doesn't keep her clothes on! She is a dominatrix style character with the personality of a very lewd man. She makes advances on female officers, challenges male officers to 'get off' on the beast having sex with unconsenting women, then chastises them for it. She 'tortures' male prisoners by stripping off for them and asking them to look at her, before travelling southward..... kind of odd torture if you ask me. They'll be lining up for cross examination next.

So like I said, a kind of very poor soft porn movie in places, but done extremely badly. There are also several rape scenes with german officers and scenes where women are tortured, usually by way of genital electrocution or supposed rats eating their parts (although most amusingly, guinea pigs are used in the movie). Scenes which should have been horrific are played for kicks and to give you as much of an eyefull as possible.

One of the final scene inevitably involves Mistress bitch being hauled into the beasts cage so he can have his way with her. This is, as with the rest of the movie, played for kicks, with the absence of a bra when the uniform is ripped off, the suspenders and stockings which she just happened to have on underneath and their staying on all the way through. She is reduced to a quivering, bloody mess, just like all the other women (you could say she got her cum upence .. Ba'dum tish!) and they are both finally shot at the end by the villagers (who are in another story which runs alongside the main sex fuelled one and is too mind numbingly dull to talk about.... one of them does talk a lot like Pop-eye though, which I found amusing) its dull and monotonous and most viewers will just be wondering how long it takes until you get back to the boobs. It was a very weird mix of 2 stories to me....

So to conclude, nothing particularly shocking in this movie but it contains an awful lot of nudity and sex. It is so bad though and 'the beast' is so laughable, you can't really get all bent out of shape about it. I felt sorry for the actresses having the guys flacid bits all pressed up against them... YUCK!!! If you're a guy who likes to watch a lot of boobs and a bit of blood, then this is for you. If you're a horror loving female, then there's very little here for you (unless of course you like to look at boobs too). There are a few teeny tiny flacid willies in there as well though, if that does it for you!

You'll need your pen and paper for the boob count in this one Will. I can't wait to see what it is!

Gore: 1/10 (There is very little)

Story: 2/10 (there was little in the way of a story as it was all an excuse to get bits out)

Nudity: 8/10 (Seemed to be the main reason for the movie to me)

Overall Score: 4/10 (If I was a guy, this would probably rise to 6/10)

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