Showing posts with label impaling. Show all posts
Showing posts with label impaling. Show all posts
30 Jun 2012
Night of the Demon - Lisa's Review
*** SPOILERS ***
Well we've got a right stinker this week. I wouldn't say it was the worst one I've watched so far on the list, but it is definately not one I would ever recommend to anyone else for any reason, other than a desire to complete the nasties list challenge.
Our basic storyline here centres around a very nasty Bigfoot who lives in a forest and likes to go around killing people in various entertaining ways. Of course there is a willing group of cannon fodder for our monster courtesy of a group of college students (yup... yet again) and their professor who are investigating the truth behind the legend of this particular monster (or Demon if you will).
The movie actually starts by telling you how its going to end. The professor is in hospital, all bandaged up. The only survivor of a Bigfoot massacre. The movie is told through a series of flashbacks, which like another movie we watched recently also made no sense as the person telling the story was not present at all the flashbacks! Irritating! Contingency issues is the least of our worries here though.
Where do I start? The acting in this movie is terrible. The script is laughable to the extreme, but not in a funny way, more in a 'I can't believe I'm watching this shit' way. The story is oh so predictable but is full of holes.
One thing which really irritated me about the movie is the way some of the deaths or reactions to them are drawn out. They in no way change or add anything. The camera just stays there filming the same scene for aaaaaaaaaaaages. I could just feel the actor hung upside down with blood dripping down his face, into his eyes and mouth thinking... 'Come on already!!!' Also there is nothing more irritating than a screaming woman in a horror... jeeeeeeeeez you have your fair share of this here. I refer to the first death scene which happens to a courting couple who are making love in a car. The bloke is dragged out and onto the top of the car and murdered out of sight. His bloody body however falls down onto the windscreen and slithers downwards (as they always do when a windscreen is involved). The womans reaction was downright ridiculous! How many ways did the director ask her to react? Its like her said, 'No, try that again', she did about 20 attempts and they kept them all in!! This is all while she is completely starkers by the way. She does pick up something to cover herself with and decides to cover her waist with it....
The gore is ok in places, but it would have been very easy to improve the effects with a little more effort. Gore includes an impaling on a tree, a ripped off penis when a motorcyclist stops to relieve himself, a throat slitting on a window pane, an impaling on a pitchfork, a disembowlment (this was probably the best one as he proceeds to whip the poor guys innards around the room) and the birth of a half human / half Bigfoot.
So where does the baby come from? Well our students hear a story that a young woman called Wanda (who has a reputation for being crazy) has had an encounter of the very close kind with Bigfoot where he impregnates her. Her father (a preacher) witnesses the rape and waits until his daughter gives birth so he can kill the offspring which he believes to be evil. He's an odd sort, her dad.
Wanda then undergoes a ritualistic reliving of her rape every year by her fathers followers who believe the ritual somehow protects them. Is it any wonder the girl is a little disturbed?
Our ever understanding students blunder into her home and basically force all this information out of her by way of hypnotism. When the beans have been spilled, predictably Bigfoot makes an appearance and does away with the cast (I felt a cheer coming on.. GO BIGFOOT!).
Sadly our professor lives to tell the tale in a hospital and we are subjected to this movie. As always with this kind of experience, everything is put down to 'madness'.
Conclusion? This is bloody awful. Avoid.
Please use the comments bellow only to comment on this post - to write your own review, please comment on the main post for this movie.
4 Dec 2011
Don't go into the woods - Lisa's Review
So here I sit on a Sunday morning before leaving for work getting last weeks 'nasty' fitted into my schedule and what monumental waste of time. Even reviewing it seems like minutes lost that will never be recaptured. I'm trying in vain to think of something positive to say about this movie, but the only teeny tiny positives are in fact accidental on the part of the film makers.
Firstly, I thought as with a lot of these movies, it may be foreign and had the actors voices dubbed on in english at a later date, but nooooooooo. This leaves me kind of inredulous as to how on earth the worst 'after dubbing' effect was achieved by this movie. I have seen and heard better acting at a school play. Every word is in slow motion, dragged and spaced out as if trying to fit in with the mouth movements rather than sound believable. How this has happened given the movie is anyones guess.
To be very politically incorrect for a moment, the lead characters (4 of them, 2 girls and 2 guys) is almost like a group of special needs kids out for a jolly in the woods. It took me some time to actually accept none of them were meant to be retarded.
We interrupt this review for competition news: the third word you will need to enter to win a copy of "Don't Look in the Basement" is "BEING". and now, back to the review...
The plotline... very loosely speaking, is several groups of people in the woods.. twitchers, swingers, hikers etc all being killed by an off screen assailant, who is later revealed and just looks like another retarded grizzly adams. The kills are all pretty standard, nothing new... impaling, stabbing, slashing, amputation, beating to death in a sleeping bag, burning in a van. There is absolutely no suspense at all and rather than care about the characters so you actually look forward to a death for something to happen and then are generally left disappointed by how crap it was. Another point about the actual kills... the screaming never changes while any character is being killed, its the same volume and pitch all the way through. I never thought a woman burning in a van would scream loudly at exactly the same pitch and then just stop.
Another point, was why they kept repeating parts of the script over' and over again... 'no, no, no, no, no', 'give me key, give me the keys, give me the keys', 'we got to keep moving, we got to keep moving, we got to keep moving'... you get the message.
The men are f*ckwits, the women are stupid (whats new there about an 80's horror) and I just couldn't wait to get to the end. It was almost like this movie was filmed as a comedy, but sadly it doesn't even have that excuse. There were a few unintentional mildly amusing bits but my lurgy is getting in the way of my sense of humour this morning so they just irritated me in their crapness.
There is no reason to watch this movie, other than to see possibly the worst acting and witness the worst script I have ever seen/heard. AVOID at all costs would be my advice!
Please use the comments bellow only to comment on this post - to write your own review, please comment on the main post for this movie.
Firstly, I thought as with a lot of these movies, it may be foreign and had the actors voices dubbed on in english at a later date, but nooooooooo. This leaves me kind of inredulous as to how on earth the worst 'after dubbing' effect was achieved by this movie. I have seen and heard better acting at a school play. Every word is in slow motion, dragged and spaced out as if trying to fit in with the mouth movements rather than sound believable. How this has happened given the movie is anyones guess.
To be very politically incorrect for a moment, the lead characters (4 of them, 2 girls and 2 guys) is almost like a group of special needs kids out for a jolly in the woods. It took me some time to actually accept none of them were meant to be retarded.
We interrupt this review for competition news: the third word you will need to enter to win a copy of "Don't Look in the Basement" is "BEING". and now, back to the review...
The plotline... very loosely speaking, is several groups of people in the woods.. twitchers, swingers, hikers etc all being killed by an off screen assailant, who is later revealed and just looks like another retarded grizzly adams. The kills are all pretty standard, nothing new... impaling, stabbing, slashing, amputation, beating to death in a sleeping bag, burning in a van. There is absolutely no suspense at all and rather than care about the characters so you actually look forward to a death for something to happen and then are generally left disappointed by how crap it was. Another point about the actual kills... the screaming never changes while any character is being killed, its the same volume and pitch all the way through. I never thought a woman burning in a van would scream loudly at exactly the same pitch and then just stop.
Another point, was why they kept repeating parts of the script over' and over again... 'no, no, no, no, no', 'give me key, give me the keys, give me the keys', 'we got to keep moving, we got to keep moving, we got to keep moving'... you get the message.
The men are f*ckwits, the women are stupid (whats new there about an 80's horror) and I just couldn't wait to get to the end. It was almost like this movie was filmed as a comedy, but sadly it doesn't even have that excuse. There were a few unintentional mildly amusing bits but my lurgy is getting in the way of my sense of humour this morning so they just irritated me in their crapness.
There is no reason to watch this movie, other than to see possibly the worst acting and witness the worst script I have ever seen/heard. AVOID at all costs would be my advice!
Please use the comments bellow only to comment on this post - to write your own review, please comment on the main post for this movie.
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