Driller Killer - Will's Review

An odd one this week, that I think fancies itself as an art movie, with some lingering (Carefully composed) shots, and extended musical cutaways.

It centres around Reno - an artist who lives in a studio apartment with his girlfriend and his girlfriend's girlfriend (yes, really). Reno is broke, but working on a "masterpiece" that he believes will change all that... Oh, and he's going slowly mad.

I say "going mad", "Going madder" would probably be more appropriate, as he is obviously not entirely untroubled from the beginning of the movie, having  a serious aversion to homeless people, and being prone to violent outbursts at the slightest provocation. Oh, and a love of the word "man".

A balanced man, that one!

Reno's already tenuous grip on reality isn't helped what a No-Wave / Punk band move into the studio below his and use it as a rehearsal room - apparently to rehears just one song.

I quite liked the band, but I do have a lot of time for down-and-dirty garage punk, so your mileage may vary, but even I got board of hearing the same song - with 2 or 3 more, the music angle could really have helped this film along, but alas, it was not to be...

Somewhere in the mists of all this, the lead singer of The Roosters (the aforementioned band) commissions a portrait, Which Reno somehow manages to paint despite his subject dancing around singing from Crowley's Goetia when he's supposed to be posing, and then shagging Reno's girlfriend right in front of him...

A big turning point for Reno is when he catches a TV advert for a "Power-Pak"; you see, battery drills weren't up to much back then, but the "Power pak" is a (20 dollar!) 110v battery with enough amp-age to run any plug-in appliance, including electric heaters and, of course, power tools! Armed with a Power-Pak and his trusty drill, Reno goes on a rampage through New-York's homeless population.

Murder seems to give him the munchies, as at one point he manages to start a row by eating most of a large pizza, then asking his girlfriend is she want's a bite with peppers - thus causing her to sling a slice at his head and storm off (!) whatever, he obviously feel bad about this, as he paints her a beautiful apology picture:

No, honestly, his other stuff is rally quite good...

I won't ruin the end, as the movie is so readily available to watch for free, But I'd just like to say (although it seems an odd thing to say especially here)  that the murders add NOTHING to the film and, in fact, it would have been a more compelling movie without them...


Body Count: 12
Boob Count: 2 Pairs
Animal Body Count: 1
Most Memorable Death: The first (where he appears to be dry-humping the tramp while killing him)

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Driller Killer - Lisa's Review

***SPOILERS***

I watched this one FREE on Youtube as instructed by Will. I didn't know the full version was on there. Quite often you get 'Kill' videos and clips of movies, but this time, there is a full unedited version of the movie, so go get watching!

Sooooo, what did I think? Well the movie had elements that I enjoyed and elements that I didn't. I probably shouldn't say this during the nasties review, but I think this movie would have been much better with the crap kill scenes taken out.

I found this movie to be much more about a mans mental breakdown than the kills. I enjoyed the lead character (Reno's) acting, but the rest of the cast were just abysmal. The music was gawd awful (and thats coming from a fan of a lot of punk music).

The basic premis is an artist (who reminded me a lot of the guy from Dexys midnight runners but better looking... with a very cool jacket... sorry I deviate) who lives with his girlfriend and her lesbian lover... yup I shit you not. I think this is just an excuse for gratuitous lesbian scene, which to be honest is no great shakes (no crap double entendre intended) anyway. On a side note, Renos girlfriends lover is probably the skinniest women I have ever seen in a movie not set in a POW camp.

Back to Reno.... He's skint and getting skinter with no money to pay the bills and a very annoying, very loud (and in my humble opinion, very crap) punk?!! band having just moved into his building. Everything builds up, culminates and sends him out onto the streets with a drill and a rather fetching battery pack belt (which we co-incidentally saw advertised on TV when he was going crazy). For some odd reason he sets his sights on homeless guys and bums. The kills are awful... not gorey awful, just crap. The blood looks like ketchup, the actors are hamming it up and don't even have the courteousy to look frightened and the overall feeling of the scenes is just rushed and cobbled together.

So we trawl through the movie of awful music, crap makeup and unconvincing kills and find some little pieces of good acting and I enjoyed how one tramp, irritated by some noise one member of the aforementioned punk band was making (and I'm with him there) was drilled to the wall in exactly the same pose as Carries mother in one of my favourite movies Carrie.

Our ears are not even free from the incessant noise when Reno is painting the musician as he plays guitar and sings when he is meant to be posing for a painting!! In another bizarre scene he then gets it on with Renos girlfriend in front of him.... very odd.

Reno drills his way through the movie killing tramps and eventually moving on to his landlord. I wonder in part if this had anything to do with the over the top negative critique of his finished Buffalo painting. It wasn't the best painting sure, but I don't think it deserved quite the scathing reception it received.

The movie ends as Renos girlfriend finally fed up with him, decides to go back to her ex husband. He pursues her there and drills the beardy ex before slipping into her bed (as she finishes in the shower, weirdly covering herself in case anyone see's when there is no-one else there). The movie ends as she climbs into bed and the screen darkens. I really do wish they had ended the movie with a whirring drill noise though.

In conclusion, I liked Renos performance, I like the darkness in places, I liked the elements of madness, I liked some of the paintings. On the other hand though, I hated the music, the kills, the rest of the cast, most of the dialogue and the weird inclusion of some scenes which made no sense to the rest of the movie (see the first scene).

Would I recommend it? Probably. Did I enjoy it? In places. Would I rant about it? Most definately not.

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WEEK 32: The Driller Killer

Alternate Titles : Driller Killer

Year: 1979

Reviews / Author Comments due: 31/12/2011

DPP Status: Successfully Prosecuted

BBFC Status: Passed uncut in 2005

IMDB: The Driller Killer

Wikipedia: The Driller Killer

DVD: Uncut R2
Watch Free: Youtube, Archive.org (streaming or download), DVD Torrent

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Driller Killer - Free on youtube

We've already told you where you can see Driller Killer for free or download it on a neat DVD , but we just found out that it's also on Youtube. 

UPDATE:

The above youtube link MAY be cut... this one isn't.

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The Dorm That Dripped Blood -Will's Review

****Spoilers***

In one of those great "you couldn't have done this if you'd planned it" moments, this review is due Christmas eve - and the film just happens to be set during the Christmas holidays!

That said, apart from one shot of some lights, you'd never know it... Oh, and the movie is shit!

This one really did fail to grab my attention, so this is likely to be a very short review.

I am a slasher fan, but this one didn't do it for me, despite all of the elements being in place; and I do mean ALL the elements - annoying prank-guy (come back FT13 part III's Shelby, all is forgiven) the (seemingly) obvious 'final girl', hapless love interest, horny teenagers, creepy guy with "Obvious mislead" virtually tattooed on his head... - I don't think anyone smoked pot, but that aside this is slasher-by-numbers stuff; and BOY did it suffer for it.

The only thing I did like was the bleak ending - now that's something that needs to get ripped off in a decent slasher!

Body Count: 9
Boob Count: 1 Pair
Animal Body Count: 0
Most Memorable Death: But.... Driller Killer is NEXT week!

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The Dorm That Dripped Blood - Lisa's Review

*** SPOILERS***

I watched this one last week so hopefully I'll remember enough to review it.

The only thing you probably need to know about 'The dorm that dripped blood' is that it is a typical - been done 100 times - teen slasher movie from the 80's. I've certainly seen much much worse movies in my time, but I have to say it didn't grab me, purely as I'm not a fan of this kind of movie.

All the elements are there, nerdy blokes, jocks, pretty girls and misunderstood loner guy who everyone suspects is the killer all along (apart from any viewer with anything resembling a brain cell) but who is actually not. I typed the word 'spoilers' at the top of this review, but I would be very surprised if any reader/viewer couldn't predict most of this movie.

The basic premis here is a group of college students staying behind at their college building over the holidays to help clear the building and get it ready for an impending shutdown... why students would be doing this is anyones guess. We have one girl who suddenly cannot stay and as her parents come to pick her up, the murders start with her dad, then her mum, finishing with her. We continue through the movie with the inevitable dispatch of the rest of our characters. I usually like to play a 'what order will they be killed in' game. I didn't do too badly with this one if you're wondering.

Deaths include a spiked bat through the head, strangulation (I found this one most amusing down to the time it takes the victim to react to whats actually happening), running over with a car, a drill to the head, boiling to death and death by cop. We also have a dismembered body discovered by poor scared female star, who must overcome her fear to steal a machete from the body... text book stuff.

Like I said, its not the worst movie I've ever seen, but having seen so many of them and their time having been and gone long ago, for me, this movie doesn't hold its own in todays market or any appeal for me like some of the more classic nasties may. Dated movies don't bother me, if they have a charm, but sadly I didn't find anything charming about this one.

The acting was awful in places and ok in others, the storyline was very stereotypical of the era, the deaths were nothing shocking or surprising and the supposed twist was obvious enough for a child to work out before we get halfway into the movie.

If you're a medicore slasher fan with nothing better to do, then you could do worse than check this out, but if you prefer to be shocked, surprised or have your brain cells stimulated - best avoid.

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WEEK 31: The Dorm That Dripped Blood

Alternate Titles : Pranks, Death Dorm

Year: 1982

Reviews / Author Comments due: 24/12/10

DPP Status: Removed from list September 1985

BBFC Status: Passed with 10s cut in 1995 and again pre-cut by 11 seconds in 2001

IMDB: The Dorm That Dripped Blood

Wikipedia: The Dorm That Dripped Blood

DVD: Uncut Region 1 import

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Don't look in the basement - Lisa's Review

*** SPOILERS ***

I'm not quite sure what I'm going to write as I start this review as I'm making up my mind what I think about it as I type.

Hmmmm. Well as I started watching I thought 'This is going to be monumentally shite'. The way it was shot, the acting, the characters.... as it continued though it developed an odd kind of charm. Its the kind of movie, I thought that I would like to see remade in the modern day. I have been reliably informed that it is indeed being remade. THAT I would be interested to see. The reason for this is that in retrospect, I enjoyed the actual storyline and the concept and the 'idea' of the characters in this movie, I just wasn't overly keen on the execution of the story.

The basic premis here is an open asylum for the insane (of all descriptions) where the patients are encouraged to 'act out' their hallucinations and imaginations to help cure their illnesses. Oddly one of the patients (an ex judge) is encouraged to 'vent' by chopping things up with a huge axe. I'm sure you can figure out where thats going..... There is no security, no bars, no locks, no-one to look after these guys apart from a surly female doctor (Dr Masters) who seems to have a love of cruelty and inflicting pain. She is the only one left following the dispatch of the head doctor (Dr Stephens) by way of axe by aforementioned patient.

Amongst the other patients are a nymphomanic, an irritating screaming woman who is convinced a doll is her baby, a hallucinating ex vietnam vet (yup, yet another one!), an old woman who spends her time being freaky and spouting old rhymes, a lobotomy patient with a childlike innocent nature but a massive stature, an extremely irritating screeching ginger twat and a really dull, seemingly depressed young woman.

We are however later joined by the gorgeous young nurse to complete our set who says that Dr Stephens took her on several weeks ago and she was arriving to commence her employment.

We get to know our characters and strange things start to happen... patients are murdered (along with a visiting telephone repair man), the old dear has her tongue ripped out (it seems she knows something and someone is trying to silence her).

We find out late on in the movie that Dr Masters, our remaining doctor, is in fact not a doctor, but a patient, who is 'acting out' her illness as with the other patients. Dr Stephen used to allow her to pretend to be a doctor. I didn't see this coming at all and was pleasantly suprised by this twist.

The rest of the movie concentrates on the young nurse Charlotte trying to escape as suddenly the entire asylum is under lock-down with no means of escape.

The film as you can imagine ends messily and well actually. I won't break it down completely for anyone wanting to watch the remake, but our lobotomy victim seems to be the only one left at the end after dispatching with all the patients. He does however help Charlotte to escape the madhouse.

This little movie wasn't too bad at all. It was ruined by the camera work, some of the script and some very cheesy acting performances, but the plotline was solid enough and I will be really interested to see the remake. I would definately recommend it to people who like weird or odd little movies.

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Don't Look In The Basement - Will's Review

I am so undecided about this movie. On the one hand I don't really see much in the way of redeeming features, on the other hand, I found it quite an easy watch. That said, I'm not sure an asylum set exploitation movie should be easy to watch...


It seems to be equally schizophrenic about itself;  the movies 'twist' is given away on the poster, but it seems from the movie that the filmmakers wanted to surprise you with it.

I'm not sure if the twist would have been a surprise or not of the poster, tagline and trailer hadn't ruined it going in - it certainly seems well enough executed that you might not have spotted it, but it's such a cliché that you may well have been ready for it. Also - it cheats! I don't really buy that  none of the inmates would have said anything sooner than try do

Speaking of the inmates, one thing that did strike me was the size of the cast! There are only 13 people in the entire movie (not even so much as an extra in the background) but almost every one of them (with the possible exception of the telephone repair man) is an actual character (and all but 2 of them will die before the credits roll, which is a heck of a cast:kill ratio!)

So what of the plot? The asylum in which the movie is set is far from conventional - its curator, a Doctor Stephens, has rather unusual ideas about how to treat insanity; his potentially groundbreaking 'obsession development therapy' in which patients are encouraged to live out thier dilutions, in the hope that they become so big they'll go away...  or something. I can't say it sounds like the best plan...

Anyway, the day before our heroin (nurse Beal) starts at the asylum, Doctor Stephens is 'treating' an axe-obsessed patient... By allowing him to chop wood with a scary, sharp, axe. What could possibly go wrong?

With the main doctor dead, and the previous nurse having handed in her resignation, the last remaining staff member, Doctor Masters, decided to greet the new girl and carry on the running of the place as normal!

Most of the rest of the movie is simply the asylum going about its business, but the colourful collection of inmates keep it from getting dull - there's an ex soldier who still belies that 'they' are coming every night, an enormous man child (the result of Stephens' final lobotomy - and the reason he quit surgery), a woman who's obsessed with a tiny tears doll, a catatonic / mute woman, an axe-obsessed justice I the peace, and old lady who thinks that flowers are her children, a nymphomaniac, and a generically-mad ginger.

The biggest problem I think, is the pacing of the murders... 2 happen  at the beginning of the film, but most of the rest happen in (literally) the last scene. I think if the twist had been hidden, and the kills spread 'whodunnit' style throughout the movie, this one could have been quite good - I certainly hope that that's the direction next year's remake will take.  As it stands its a flat, but not unpleasant, way to kill and hour and a half.

Body count: 11
Boob count: 1 pair
Animal Body count: 0
Most memorable death: let me axe you somethin' Doc...

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Watch For Free: Don't Look In The Basement

Just Found out that this week's movie is available free online!

Stream or Download from Archive.Org

or

Watch on YouTube

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WEEK 30: Don't Look In The Basement

Alternate Titles : The Forgotten, Death Ward 13, Don't Go in the Basement, The Snakepit

Year: 1973

Reviews / Author Comments due: 17/12/11

DPP Status: Removed from list December 1985

BBFC Status: Passed uncut in 2005

IMDB: The Forgotten

Wikipedia: The Forgotten

DVD: R0 Uncut

Free: Archive.org or YouTube

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Don't go near the park - Will's Review

SPOLERS


12,000 Years ago a tribal elder gets pissed off at her son and daughter, and curses them - already things are a little mad here; Their crime is killing children in order to gain eternal life and youth, the punishment is... Eternal life, with the option of killing children in order to stay young! - That'll learn 'em!



Even stranger, the Curse includes 10x aging speed (so.. they'll have to kill more often then!) AND a get out clause, whereby if a virgin (one bread half of the Tribe and half of a mortal) is sacrificed in 12,000 years (there's an astrological significance) they get to keep their life AND youth forever!

11,984 years later (or 16 years ago) the brother and sister decide that he should find a woman to give him a child to use as the sacrifice (why the sister doesn't find a man to give her one I don't understand, she could have a plethora of one-night stands to ensure pregnancy, and custody would be easy... oh, whatever), so he meets, charms, marries and impregnates a mortal woman, nipping off to the part the whole time to eat young people and maintain his youth.

The next 16 years are a brief montage, until we reach the film proper; The sister is living in a shack in the park (the park is on the site of the films opening, which makes me wonder what these Caucasian people were doing in America in about 10,000BC), the park is rumoured to be cursed (which even in the 1970's is apparently enough to keep people out), the brother hates his wife, and his daughter is a young woman.

If anything the film is too full - the basic story isn't great, but it isn't terrible, but the film-makers are far too busy telling other plots: the sister (from her shack in the woods) seems to run a centre for runaways; she lives with an 8 year old necrophiliac (see clip) and a "hunky" 16 year old called 'cowboy', after a compleatly superfluous attempted rape scene, she takes in Bondi (Her niece, although Bondi doesn't know it). On top of that, the 8 year old befriends a writer, who just happens to be working on a history of the park.

Oh, Well THAT'S aright then!!!

Speaking of the superfluous attempted rape scene; Bondi (not the brightest girl) accepts a lift from 3 strangers (all men) in a van with painted out rear windows. No sooner are they on the road than two of them are groping her, eventually pulling her into the back of the van in order to...  forcefully kiss her neck and chest (through her blouse, even though they have torn it open)... More offensive than the scene itself though is that just a short time later (after dreaming the entire opening of the film) she's recovered completely, and starts hitting on 'Cowboy'!

Probably as a result of it's being overcrowded, the film seems to lurch and stagger forward, giving the impression that short connecting scenes have been cut - for instance, Bondi is running from the wreckage of a crash and then, without warning, she's following a dog into an abandoned shack...

And then, at the story's climax, our immortals suddenly have Super powers - It's a moment of 100% WFT (not from concentrate) - out of nowhere, she can start fires with her mind, and he can control animals and shoot lasers from his eyes?!? Its like a scene from a different movie with the same actors!

The effects are sub-hammer, the acting bearable (barley) and the film goes on for what feels like about 15 mins (actually 5) after iot should rightly have ended. Oh, and the last shot of the movie is spoiled on the poster!

All in all, I wouldn't advise you to run screaming form this one, but I wouldn't come close to recommending it either...




Body Count: 10
Boob Count: 3 Pairs
Animal Body Count: 0
Most Memorable Death: Exploding rape-van

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Don't go near the park - Lisa's Review

***SPOILERS***

So after a couple of weeks of late reviews, here I am on the first day of the week with the movie in the bag. Yay me!!

So another one in the series of 'Don't go' movies and thankfully they seem to have absolutely nothing to do with one another. We start with some text telling us that the movie, although fictional is based on occurances throughout centuries... Okaaaaaaaaaaay. I'm sure just about anything committed to celluloid has happened through the centuries, but we'll go with it.

The basic premis here is.. 12,000 years ago a woman puts a curse on her 2 children who have messed about with the sanctity of the secret of eternal youth and been naughty so and so's. The curse sentences them to a lifetime of ageing without the ability to die. They will age 10 years for every 1 year of life. The only way to break the curse is to sacrifice a 16 year old virgin female in 12,000 years time (something to do with a when the moon is covered).. blah blah blah. The irony is, the only way they can stay young is to kill and eat the innards of young people...kind of what they were being punished for in the first place, but anyway....

The movie cuts to 12000 years in the future (the present day) and we see the brother and sister looking much older and greyer. They both kill a few people, eat their insides and hey presto, youth is restored again. There's not much more to it really. The guy meets a woman. He oddly does this by breaking into her house and into the bathroom when shes in the shower, yet she still offers him a room as a lodger, sleeps with him, marries him and goes on to have a daughter with him. This all happens in the space of about 10 minutes in the film. After the daughter is born, they quickly separate as we find out he no longer has any use for his new wife, now that he has a daughter... Hmmmmmm I wonder what he intends to use her for... (long scratch of chin)

So yup you got it. He intends to use her as the sacrifice. The ending is monumentally pants and so predictable I almost laughed out loud when I watched it played out. I won't put it here in the vain chance that anyone actually reads this and wants to watch the movie. We can but hope...

When I thought the special effects were shite, nothing prepared me for the laser beams shooting out of the eyes in the finale. Now that effect deserves to be documented. Check out 5 mins 58 seconds into the review below (or if you want, watch it for a much more detailed and educational review than this one).

The Nasties Review: Don't Go Near The Park (YouTube)

I can't really make my mind up about this movie. It wasn't the worst thing I've ever seen (see last weeks review for that) but then again it wasn't very good either.

The acting is ok (meaning its not laughably awful) but it held no intrigue for me and the gore was pants. There was also a rather distasteful scene with the young 16 year old 'virgin' with a few young lads in a van that I could've done without... another one of those 'for tittilation' pieces. Not a lot was shown fair enough, but the idea that these movies need to keep showing sexual attacks just for kicks just p*sses me off. The fact the teenager jokes about it later to a young boy she meets (and is also in the mood to come onto another lad the same day as her attack) just about sums up the thought put into this movie.

I wouldn't watch it again but it wasn't the hardest to sit through by any stretch of the imagination.

Don't go into the woods - Lisa's Review

So here I sit on a Sunday morning before leaving for work getting last weeks 'nasty' fitted into my schedule and what monumental waste of time. Even reviewing it seems like minutes lost that will never be recaptured. I'm trying in vain to think of something positive to say about this movie, but the only teeny tiny positives are in fact accidental on the part of the film makers.


Firstly, I thought as with a lot of these movies, it may be foreign and had the actors voices dubbed on in english at a later date, but nooooooooo. This leaves me kind of inredulous as to how on earth the worst 'after dubbing' effect was achieved by this movie. I have seen and heard better acting at a school play. Every word is in slow motion, dragged and spaced out as if trying to fit in with the mouth movements rather than sound believable. How this has happened given the movie is anyones guess.

To be very politically incorrect for a moment, the lead characters (4 of them, 2 girls and 2 guys) is almost like a group of special needs kids out for a jolly in the woods. It took me some time to actually accept none of them were meant to be retarded.

We interrupt this review for competition news: the third word you will need to enter to win a copy of "Don't Look in the Basement" is "BEING". and now, back to the review...

The plotline... very loosely speaking, is several groups of people in the woods.. twitchers, swingers, hikers etc all being killed by an off screen assailant, who is later revealed and just looks like another retarded grizzly adams. The kills are all pretty standard, nothing new... impaling, stabbing, slashing, amputation, beating to death in a sleeping bag, burning in a van. There is absolutely no suspense at all and rather than care about the characters so you actually look forward to a death for something to happen and then are generally left disappointed by how crap it was. Another point about the actual kills... the screaming never changes while any character is being killed, its the same volume and pitch all the way through. I never thought a woman burning in a van would scream loudly at exactly the same pitch and then just stop.

Another point, was why they kept repeating parts of the script over' and over again... 'no, no, no, no, no', 'give me key, give me the keys, give me the keys', 'we got to keep moving, we got to keep moving, we got to keep moving'... you get the message.

The men are f*ckwits, the women are stupid (whats new there about an 80's horror) and I just couldn't wait to get to the end. It was almost like this movie was filmed as a comedy, but sadly it doesn't even have that excuse. There were a few unintentional mildly amusing bits but my lurgy is getting in the way of my sense of humour this morning so they just irritated me in their crapness.

There is no reason to watch this movie, other than to see possibly the worst acting and witness the worst script I have ever seen/heard. AVOID at all costs would be my advice!

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WEEK 29: Don't Go Near The Park

Alternate Titles : Nightstalker

Year: 1979

Reviews / Author Comments due: 10/12/11

DPP Status: Removed from list July 1985

BBFC Status: Passed uncut Rated 18 in 2006

IMDB: Don't Go Near The Park

Wikipedia: Don't Go Near The Park

DVD: R1 Import (uncut)

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Don't Go Into The Woods - Will's review.

A whole bunch of people appear (I can't even use the word "introduced") and get killed, usually off camera, by an unseen assailent.

This is interspersed by the 4 worst actors in the world, who are on a hiking camping trip. The 2 men are a general prick, and an an insufferable know-all, and the 2 women have no personality at all, but one of them looks like a Ginger Justin Beiber.


Eventually they cross the killers path.

Having kept the killer of screen for almost half the movie, you'de hop for a good reveal - no such luck; its just a 'wild man' who likes to dress as a wookie with a weird bead/hair... THING on his face:

Really REALLY bad movie.

Oddly the entire thing sounds overdubbed, but it's in it's original language, so I can only guess that they didn't have a boom mic, and the on-camera mic didn't produce usable audio, but seriously the ENTIRE film sounds like a comedy-dub without jokes.

We interrupt this review for competition news: the fourth and final word you will need to enter to win a copy of "Don't look in the Basement" is "NASTY". Deatails on how to ender will appear on the VNAW feacebook page, and now, back to the review....

The only (and I do mean ONLY) 2 good things about the movie are presented bellow: the one decent gore shot, and the hilarious theme song that plays over the closing credits.

Oh, and at the end of the movie we see a baby (who the killer inexplicably took, rather than killing) hacking at the floor with a hatchet - I expect we are supposed to assume she will survive into adulthood and be the next killer... or something.

I don't know who "Angie Brown" is, 

but I suspect she's blowing the credits guy...

Body Count: 15

Boob Count: 0

Animal Body Count: 0

Most Memorable Death: VW Window Face-plant.

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Don't go in the house - Lisa's Review

***SPOILERS***

So a bit late with this weeks review, but better late than never. We move onto a pyromaniac for this weeks movie.

A rather sad middle aged man (Donny) lives with his mother (in a kind of psycho style set up) who clearly has abused him as a youngster with fire, holding his arm above a lit stove by way of punishment. If he was bad, she burned him. If he had evil thoughts, she would burn him. She felt she could burn the evil out of him. For some strange reason this has ignited (no pun intended) a lifetime fascination with fire.

He watches a colleague at work burn to death and watches rather than help. He later discovers his evil mother has passed away 'freeing' him to a life of whatever he wanted. Strangely, what he wants is to inflict the same pain suffered by him at the hands of his mother onto others. He hears voices in his head telling him what he can do and leading him astray.

We interrupt this review for competition news: the second word you will need to enter to win a copy of "Don't look in the Basement" is " STOP". and now, back to the review....

Being a horror movie from the 80's, this inevitably means the 'victims' will be beautiful young naked women and we are not disappointed with his first victim who is strung up in that classic bondage arms above head pose and prompted set fire to after being doused in petrol. I noted however her hair stayed beautiful coiffered and dry after the petrol dousing.

He goes to 'collect' the burned corpses of his victims (all dressed up after death) in his house along with his decomposing mother.

We move on to a very amusing scene in a shop where he buys clothes to go out. Are all male shop assistants who work in suit shops gay? Anyway after a long drawn out purchasing experience, he leaves all dapper like and heads to the discotheque.... queue some awful acting, dancing, clothes and hair.

While dancing with a rather attractive young woman, he has a flashback to his childhood and the arm over the stove and he manages to set fire to this ladies 80's hairspray laquered hair. He beats a hasty exit before her brother seeks his revenge. Enroute home in his car he picks up 2 rather inebriated and attractive (suprise suprise) young women and convinces them to come back to his for a party.

Well we know whats going to happen to them. Also a priest he confided in during the movie and his friend (yes he has one) come over to his house following the disco episode to see how he is and the priest is set alight with a flame thrower! Nice! He then starts to imagine that the corpses in his house come alive and talk to him, so he sets light to them with the flame thrower again! lol.

What we expected would happen from the start happens of course... the house is burned down and several bodies are found explaining away the corpses. Donny also meets his demise.

We end with a crap attempt at a social statement where Donny's friend's son is being beaten by his mother and starts to hear the same voices Donny heard. 'Don't beat your kids, or they will come back and kill you'.. Hmmmm

I found this movie mind numbingly boring, dull and a waste of time. I have watched worse during this challenge, but this one just didn't hold anything of interest for me at all.

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WEEK 28: Don't go into the Woods.

Alternate Titles : Don't Go in the Woods, Don't Go in the Woods... Alone

Year: 1980

Reviews / Author Comments due: 03/12/2011

DPP Status: Successfully Prosecuted

BBFC Status: Passed uncut rated 15 in 2007
IMDB: Don't Go in the Woods

Wikipedia: Don't Go in the Woods

DVD: Uncut R2 DVD

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Don't Go In The House - Will's review.

This weeks movie had shades of Psycho, with a central character who was haunted by his preserved mother, and lures young women to his home to kill them. 

Unlike psycho, his "mother" doesn't actually seem to be directly related to the murders - she doesn't tell him to commit them; she just generally bothers him while he goes around collecting bodies. 

The only way Donny's mother is connected to his crimes, is that her abuse made him the man he is today; she used to burn his arms with fire to 'purify' him, which has left him with more than a small fire obsession (he even works at a rubbish incinerator). 

When Donny finds his mother dead, he at first does all the things that every 30's something wishes he could; he plays his music loud, jumps on the furniture, and builds himself a metal-lined death room where he can burn people to death with a flame flower 'borrowed' from work. He even gets himself an appropriate wardrobe from his neighbourhood camping supplies, hunting, fishing, and fire-suite store. 

We interrupt this review for some competition news; you will need to collect 4 words to enter the competition to win a copy of 'don't look in the basement' - the first of these is "DON'T", we now return you to the review.

His lure and kill cycle is fairly repetitive, and the film makers had the good sense not to show it more that once, instead just showing us part of subsequent captures.

That said, the burning effect was well done, and another couple of those might have made a bette filler than a 10 minute scene where Donny buys some clothes to go out in!

Slow 3rd act and some truly awful acting  aside, it's a solid enough film (at least by the standard so far) with reasonable corpse and fire effects (some practical, some superimposed).

Body Count: 5
Animal Body Count: 0
Boob Count: 1 pair
Most memorable death: Burning in bondage (the first one)

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WEEK 27: Don't Go in the House

Alternate Titles : n/a

Year: 1979

Reviews / Author Comments due: 26/11/11

DPP Status: Removed from list 1984

BBFC Status: Passed 18 win 3m7s cut in 1987 UPDATE: Passed uncut in 2011
IMDB: Don't Go In The House

Wikipedia: Don't Go In The House

DVD: LINK

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Feel free to use the comments section of this post to add your own reviews and thoughts about this movie.