Showing posts with label Sci-Fi. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Sci-Fi. Show all posts

15 Oct 2011

SHOCKTOBER SPECIAL: Xtro - Will's Review


NOTE: In honour of Halloween, We're taking a break from the DPP list.

This weeks movie was selected because (although it never made the list) it was often seized by the police during DPP raids, and is often mistakenly listed as a "Video Nasty".

When Sam is abducted by aliens In a flash of light, the only witness is his young son, Tony. Needless to say, no one believes Tony, and it is assumed that Sam has run out on his wife and kid.

3 years later (apparently - Tony doesn't seem to have aged in that time) Sam comes back, a new man... 

It's that time of year, and I've been running my annual side project Shocktoberfest, where I kick back and (try to) enjoy the movies without making notes. I've found that, no only do I have more fun, but the reviews come easier (truth be told, my "notes" read more like a synopsis, which seems to cloud the way I talk about, and judge, the films) so (apart from keeping my tally) I've flown note-free on this too...

This could have been a very cool film if they'd kept us in the dark for a while; had same come back, seeming himself but doing occasional wierd shit, like eating his son's snakes eggs, but not really telling us is Sam really was kidnapped, or just mad...

From the family's point of view (Tony, mum and mums new fella') this is pretty much what happens, unfortunately viewers know all along, as we see an alien creature (Cheap looking, but still kind of awesome) land, kill a couple of folks and do something strange to a woman's face before melting into a puddle of extra-terrestrial snot, before Sam returns by (spoiler, highlight to see) being born, whole, adult and rather graphicly, from the uturus of the woman who got face raped !!! 

So Sam informs Tony that he was taken to another world, where he was "changed" so that he could survive there, and that he's come back for his boy. He passes on his changes (including some bonkers mind-over matter skills - more on that later) to his lad via what looks like a lovebite - squik!

From the 'not-really-a-mystery' portion of events, we progress to the 'mad-as-pants' part of the movie, as  Tony transforms 2 of his toys into a life-size killer action man, and a midget clown with a lethal yo-yo, before turning the nanny into an egg machine, and having the midget fill the refrigerator with grey porridge in which to incubate said eggs.

Tony's Mum, unaware that her house is fast becoming a messed-up drugs vision, but fully aware that her husband is back after 3 years, staying with her and her fiancĂ©e, claiming to have possibly been abducted by aliens and now claiming amnesia (which, by the way, she is totally unfazed by), has elected to take Sam back to thier holiday cottage (where the abduction took place) to help him get his memories back.

A flame is rekindled and (mid coitus) we enter what I call in my head the 'Brindle Fly' segment, as Sam begins to slowly turn back into his alien form - one puss filled welt at a time!

Despite the insanity, the ending is so wonderfully bleak, that you have to give this movie a bit of a pass - it's nothing if not entertaining, even if it does suffer a bit from madness.

Apparently there are 2 sequels, which I may check out some time around the end of 2012, when this protect is over (or possibly for this or next Shocktoberfest... who knows!)

Body Count: 7
Boob Count: 2 pairs
Animal Body Count: 1.5 (one and an egg)
Most memorable Death: What a Big Baby!

Please use the comments bellow only to comment on this post - to write your own review, please comment on the main post for this movie.

10 Sept 2011

Contamination - Will's Review

*****Spoilers - again******

So, one of the alternate titles for this one was "Alien 2" (It's not uncommon for Italian movies to try and sell themselves as sequels to big hits), and featuring as it does, green goo, pulsing eggs and exploding torsos, It does have as much in common as some legitimate 'in name only' type sequels ('Open Water 2' I'm looking at you...), but that's where the similarities end.

Set firmly on earth, the movie opens with an abandoned cargo ship sailing into New York (Why is it always New York???) , It's quickly boarded and put into quarantine, where the crew are found to be huddled together in a couple of rooms, burst open, and the cargo of "Coffee" turns out  to be alien eggs, which periodicly burst open, causing anyone in the vicinity to explode.

Which happens pretty much instantly, begging the question "Why were the crew crammed into a couple of rooms", What? Did they stop dinner half way through and go play 'sardines' while the 'hider' carried one of the eggs? whatever, it's never explained!

Speaking of the cargo, this movie contains a brilliant example of the odd dialogue you only encounter in Italian films:


Of course!

All in all though, not a bad film for a throwaway 80's Sci-Horror, the makeup effects were great, and the exploding torsos would have been, if only they hadn't been shot from an angle that made it obvious that the actor who was about to explode had just gained about 50 pounds. When we finally meet a full grown alien creature, on the other hand, it is realisably bad, and has a helerious method of killing / eating that's almost worth seeing the movie for!


Body Count: 18
Boob Count: 0
Animal Body Count: 1
Most Memorable Death: Eaten by an arm


Please use the comments bellow only to comment on this post - to write your own review, please comment on the main post for this movie.