***SPOILERS***
I start this review a little guiltily knowing I should probably think this movie was pants, but I actually quite enjoyed it. It had me cackling most of the way through.
The premis here, is an up himself author (Paul Martin) who has 1 successful book behind him (he keeps telling anyone who will listen how well it did and how much he made from it) attempting to write book number 2. He takes off to a quiet house in the country and goes about hiring a typist to assist him in his endeavours. He decides not to bring his lady friend with him after tiring of her and I'm not surprised it has to be said. NEVER have I seen a more hideous, overly tanned (she looks roasted!) and wierd chested woman in a movie. During the woman on top sex scenes, her boobs don't move AT ALL, no swaying, nothing!!! Also her acting when it comes to displays of esctasy is downright scary. I would be terrified if I was shagging that! Wierdly Paul always wears rubber gloves when he is having sex and he has flashes in his mind of some man outside a window and him covered in lots of blood every time. I don't think they ever explained that.
Sooooo our author Pauil clears off to the country and is soon met at the station by his typist (Linda)- a very pretty and we soon learn nympho type. She is harranged by a couple of thugs, who do the usual leering crap we come to expect for a pretty woman in a movie. They are dealt with very swiftly and impressively by this 'stiff-looking' suited author when he embarrassingly knocks 7 shades of excrement out of them.
The movie is quite slow and mostly centers around him dictating the text to Linda and the sexual tension that builds very quickly between them. He discovers she has a vibrator in her suitcase (oh quelle suprise! naughty girl!) and this seems to make him think its ok to try her room when he hears suggestion moans coming from behind a closed door. Yes, she is having a little fun alone time and knows he is there trying the door and peering in at her nakedness (she's finished by this stage) but she doesn't seem to care.
The scene which leads to her need for relief is most amusing. Paul dictates a new paragraph to her all surrounding going down on a woman... its all 'tongue darting here and there' etc etc. Before any climax is reached or any real filth is alluding to, he says 'Ok, thats enough for now'.. You could literally FEEL the frustration!
Another amusing scene after she emerges from her room post play is when he says 'You've been a long time' and she finishes his sentence 'in coming?'.. its so bad, its hilarious!
On another very wierd scene, she goes for a walk in a cornfield and has another go, but shock horror, the 2 guys from earlier at the station are there and ready to rape her. She doesn't seem bothered at all and if anything looked like she enjoyed it to me. She even strokes the shotgun one of them is holding her with. Afterwards, she shoots them both with the gun.. It sort of left me wondering what the hell the point of the scene was.. I suppose something else sexual was needed.... who knows.
So you're wondering where the hell this movie is going.. Pauls girlfriend shows up on his invite after Linda spurns his advances. He needs a bit, so here she is for some more scary sex and even some lesbian sex with Linda. She gets everywhere. I think Linda sleeps with her just to wind Paul up.
So everyone is having sex, frustrating each other and masturbating.. where are we going???
Basically we discover that Linda was married to the real author of Pauls first book that made him so much money. He stole the book and took the credit and she intended to get her revenge.
She attempts to kill him by cutting the brakes on her car, but he survives by crashing into a river and heads back to the house.
I won't spoil the ending completely but after a very slow movie, it all ends rather abruptly and obviously.
I know this movie was terrible but I enjoyed it because it was so bad. Why its a video nasty is anyones guess.
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