The Toolbox Murders - Will's Review

Maybe I was just in the right frame of mind, maybe I'd hate it on a re-watch, but I'm going to come right out and say it; I loved the hell out of this movie.

For that reason, I'm going to tell you why you should see it, then hang around after the jump, wielding spoilers and waiting for you to join me and shoot shit about a fun little movie.

The first 20 mins or so deliver everything you'd expect from a movie with this title and this poster - within the first 15 mins you'll have seen (or not seen - sadly most of the good stuff happens off screen) 4 women and girls, in various states of undress, killed by a dude with a toolbox (polite too, he lets one girl finish masturbating before he announces his presence; just because you're about to murder a sinner is no excuse to ruin their evening!)

Fun ride though that is, it could quickly have got dull. Thankfully, a girl is kidnapped, rather than killed, the police turn up and briefly, we have a whodunit.

This also could have got pretty dull, pretty fast; especially as it's quite obvious who did 'dunnit' - the murders are all in an apartment building, and the first victim explicitly says that she was expecting the (unseen by us) killer to come, as she had called him days ago to come fix a tap!

Fear not though; the film-makers have got you covered; confirming our suspicion quickly and becoming a 'captured girl and psychotic captor' price.

Brilliant!

Now go away and watch it, then come back here.

SPOILERS FOLLOW:

Okay, so it would have been nice to SEE some of the gore, and a couple of permanences could have been better, script wise though; I'd change 2 things:

The farcical police investigation: a little more investigating and a little less trying to hook-up with the missing girls mum would have been a good start, and I don't think the real police encourage teenagers to solve murders and kidnappings themselves.

The ending... in fact screw it; I'm going to go fan-edit that, right now:...

Okay, for those who haven't seen the movie, but have decided to read this review anyway, you need to know that the young man is the nephew of the killer / kidnapper; he had (unbeknownst to the hostage) killed her brother (to protect his uncle; her brother had figured everything out by now) and then his uncle.

Then (in my head) this happens:

There!

Yes it's bleak, but in my head, that where the movie ended; this isn't HappilyEverAfterAWeek.co.uk you know! I also got rid of the "true story" blurb - I don't buy that for one second! "Based on a true story" in a horror movie means "Something bad once happened", and little else. (the real ending is after the review for anyone who wants to see it)

We have a remake of this one to watch this coming Shocktober, but from what I understand all that's been kept is the apartment complex, the title and the toolbox, which is a shame, as an update of THIS film could kick ass!

Body Count: 7 (6 in the version in my head)
Boob Count: 2 pairs
Most Memorable Death: he nailed her good!

Original ending:

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The Toolbox Murders - Lisa's Review

*** BIG FAT SPOILERS ***

A VERY sleazy one this week.  I struggled with how to present my review and whether or not to give the movie a 'recommends' tag.  I decided since the aspects of the movie that I didn't enjoy are specific pet peeves of mine and perhaps aren't things that would irritate most viewers, I would go with a thumbs up.

The movie starts very abruptly and launches into several murders in an apartment block.  We don't know any of the victims nor the perpetrator.  The fact that I found the murders very disturbing and cringed numerous times, points towards the strength of the scenes, as we don't need prior knowledge nor a connection with the victims to feel an empathy.  The murders weren't dragged out (which for me can sometimes dilute the effect) and the methods, which included the sharp end of a claw hammer, a drill (with a very large drill bit), a nailgun and a knife were toe-curling (in a good way) and had me wincing and cringing.  The blood was realistic and the killer himself had an eerie madness about him.  The completely contrasting music the victims were listening to in their homes before their attacks, which end up accompanying their demise definately adds to the disturbing nature of the scenes.
One complaint I do have though (and the one thing that ruined these scenes for me) was the necessity to have 2 of the victims presented in a sexual manner when it wasn't required and is so obviously done for titillation.  We see a young woman in a bath (with a full face of makeup... bad for the skin that) masturbating.  The killer gains his entry unheard by the woman due to her loud music and he kindly waits for her to finish before dispatching her by way of a nail-gun.... the obvious pun would be something along the line of 'nailing her' but I'm not that crass.  Anyways.... I have nothing against nudity in movies, male or female, but put it in there when its required and is relevant, don't just make a murder victim nude because you can.  These scenes are meant to be disturbing, shocking and chilling, not titillating.   I did ask my husband his viewpoint on this, as a matter of interest and wanting a males perspective and his view is simply, they did this at the time because they wanted to push the boundaries as much as they could, by making the movie as controversial as they could (ie as much nudity, gore and distasteful scenes as possible).  The intention was never to titillate.   Hmmm I can see that angle, but I still reckon its distracting from the scene and for most viewers.  I mean how many naked men do we see murdered in movies?  Like I said before, its a personal pet peeve and not one which would apply to everyone, hence me giving the movie the 'Recommended' tag.

Anyways, after the first half hour, the movie takes a dramatic change of pace as we see the killer kidnap a 15 year old girl (Laurie).  Its a strange change of pace, but not a bad one and the remainder of the movie is more pyschological rather than a physical horror.  The acting is impressive, which is a big change for The Nasties List and you genuinely feel empathy with the characters.   The film is now pretty much split into 3.  A Whodunnit with a waste of time police investigation... there really was no point in even bothering with this side of things if they weren't going to do it properly.  I've seen more convincing crime solving in an episode of Scooby Doo.  Speaking of Scooby Doo,  the second part of our 3 part movie split follows our kidnapped girls brother and his friend (who just so happens to be our killers nephew) trying to solve the case themselves.  Lastly we follow the killer and kidnapper and his odd relationship with Laurie who spends the duration tied to a bed.  This was a bit uncomfortable, as although there are no sexual scenes between the killer and her, the general creepiness almost implies something is amiss.  Sadly the inevitable rape of 15 year old Laurie is factored in nearing the end of the movie, but not by our killer/kidnapper, but by his nephew.  Thankfully we are spared any gratuitous and unnecessary shots with almost everything happening off camera.  I liked the ending.  Simple and effective.  I won't give that away.  I've given away pretty much everything else.

The movie had flaws.  There are inconsistencies, there are lots of unbelievable bits, there are frustrating bits (like a victim who hides in a small room from the killer who is wielding a drill and chasing her... she leans AGAINST the door separating the 2 of them!  ARRRGGGGHH).  I will say however overall its one of the better nasties and one I could recommend to any lovers of horror who aren't too easilly offended.

Can we maintain positives movies for a few weeks???  Watch this space!

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Exposé - Lisa's Review

***SPOILERS***

I start this review a little guiltily knowing I should probably think this movie was pants, but I actually quite enjoyed it. It had me cackling most of the way through.

The premis here, is an up himself author (Paul Martin) who has 1 successful book behind him (he keeps telling anyone who will listen how well it did and how much he made from it) attempting to write book number 2. He takes off to a quiet house in the country and goes about hiring a typist to assist him in his endeavours. He decides not to bring his lady friend with him after tiring of her and I'm not surprised it has to be said. NEVER have I seen a more hideous, overly tanned (she looks roasted!) and wierd chested woman in a movie. During the woman on top sex scenes, her boobs don't move AT ALL, no swaying, nothing!!! Also her acting when it comes to displays of esctasy is downright scary. I would be terrified if I was shagging that! Wierdly Paul always wears rubber gloves when he is having sex and he has flashes in his mind of some man outside a window and him covered in lots of blood every time. I don't think they ever explained that.


Sooooo our author Pauil clears off to the country and is soon met at the station by his typist (Linda)- a very pretty and we soon learn nympho type. She is harranged by a couple of thugs, who do the usual leering crap we come to expect for a pretty woman in a movie. They are dealt with very swiftly and impressively by this 'stiff-looking' suited author when he embarrassingly knocks 7 shades of excrement out of them.

The movie is quite slow and mostly centers around him dictating the text to Linda and the sexual tension that builds very quickly between them. He discovers she has a vibrator in her suitcase (oh quelle suprise! naughty girl!) and this seems to make him think its ok to try her room when he hears suggestion moans coming from behind a closed door. Yes, she is having a little fun alone time and knows he is there trying the door and peering in at her nakedness (she's finished by this stage) but she doesn't seem to care.

The scene which leads to her need for relief is most amusing. Paul dictates a new paragraph to her all surrounding going down on a woman... its all 'tongue darting here and there' etc etc. Before any climax is reached or any real filth is alluding to, he says 'Ok, thats enough for now'.. You could literally FEEL the frustration!

Another amusing scene after she emerges from her room post play is when he says 'You've been a long time' and she finishes his sentence 'in coming?'.. its so bad, its hilarious!

On another very wierd scene, she goes for a walk in a cornfield and has another go, but shock horror, the 2 guys from earlier at the station are there and ready to rape her. She doesn't seem bothered at all and if anything looked like she enjoyed it to me. She even strokes the shotgun one of them is holding her with. Afterwards, she shoots them both with the gun.. It sort of left me wondering what the hell the point of the scene was.. I suppose something else sexual was needed.... who knows.

So you're wondering where the hell this movie is going.. Pauls girlfriend shows up on his invite after Linda spurns his advances. He needs a bit, so here she is for some more scary sex and even some lesbian sex with Linda. She gets everywhere. I think Linda sleeps with her just to wind Paul up.

So everyone is having sex, frustrating each other and masturbating.. where are we going???

Basically we discover that Linda was married to the real author of Pauls first book that made him so much money. He stole the book and took the credit and she intended to get her revenge.

She attempts to kill him by cutting the brakes on her car, but he survives by crashing into a river and heads back to the house.

I won't spoil the ending completely but after a very slow movie, it all ends rather abruptly and obviously.

I know this movie was terrible but I enjoyed it because it was so bad. Why its a video nasty is anyones guess.

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