Week 70: Twitch Of The Death Nerve

Alternate Titles : A Bay of Blood, Bay of Blood, Reazione a Catena, Antefatto, Bloodbath, Bloodbath: Bay of Death, Bloodbath Bay of Blood, Carnage, Before the Fact: Ecology of a Crime, The Ecology of a Crime, Before the Fact, Last House on the Left Part 2, New House on the Left

Year: 1981

Reviews / Author Comments due: 22/09/2012

DPP Status: Successfully prosecuted 

BBFC Status: Passed uncut in 2010

IMDB: LINK

Wikipedia: LINK

DVD: LINK

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Feel free to use the comments section of this post to add your own reviews and thoughts about this movie.

The Toolbox Murders - Will's Review

Maybe I was just in the right frame of mind, maybe I'd hate it on a re-watch, but I'm going to come right out and say it; I loved the hell out of this movie.

For that reason, I'm going to tell you why you should see it, then hang around after the jump, wielding spoilers and waiting for you to join me and shoot shit about a fun little movie.

The first 20 mins or so deliver everything you'd expect from a movie with this title and this poster - within the first 15 mins you'll have seen (or not seen - sadly most of the good stuff happens off screen) 4 women and girls, in various states of undress, killed by a dude with a toolbox (polite too, he lets one girl finish masturbating before he announces his presence; just because you're about to murder a sinner is no excuse to ruin their evening!)

Fun ride though that is, it could quickly have got dull. Thankfully, a girl is kidnapped, rather than killed, the police turn up and briefly, we have a whodunit.

This also could have got pretty dull, pretty fast; especially as it's quite obvious who did 'dunnit' - the murders are all in an apartment building, and the first victim explicitly says that she was expecting the (unseen by us) killer to come, as she had called him days ago to come fix a tap!

Fear not though; the film-makers have got you covered; confirming our suspicion quickly and becoming a 'captured girl and psychotic captor' price.

Brilliant!

Now go away and watch it, then come back here.

SPOILERS FOLLOW:

Okay, so it would have been nice to SEE some of the gore, and a couple of permanences could have been better, script wise though; I'd change 2 things:

The farcical police investigation: a little more investigating and a little less trying to hook-up with the missing girls mum would have been a good start, and I don't think the real police encourage teenagers to solve murders and kidnappings themselves.

The ending... in fact screw it; I'm going to go fan-edit that, right now:...

Okay, for those who haven't seen the movie, but have decided to read this review anyway, you need to know that the young man is the nephew of the killer / kidnapper; he had (unbeknownst to the hostage) killed her brother (to protect his uncle; her brother had figured everything out by now) and then his uncle.

Then (in my head) this happens:

There!

Yes it's bleak, but in my head, that where the movie ended; this isn't HappilyEverAfterAWeek.co.uk you know! I also got rid of the "true story" blurb - I don't buy that for one second! "Based on a true story" in a horror movie means "Something bad once happened", and little else. (the real ending is after the review for anyone who wants to see it)

We have a remake of this one to watch this coming Shocktober, but from what I understand all that's been kept is the apartment complex, the title and the toolbox, which is a shame, as an update of THIS film could kick ass!

Body Count: 7 (6 in the version in my head)
Boob Count: 2 pairs
Most Memorable Death: he nailed her good!

Original ending:

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The Toolbox Murders - Lisa's Review

*** BIG FAT SPOILERS ***

A VERY sleazy one this week.  I struggled with how to present my review and whether or not to give the movie a 'recommends' tag.  I decided since the aspects of the movie that I didn't enjoy are specific pet peeves of mine and perhaps aren't things that would irritate most viewers, I would go with a thumbs up.

The movie starts very abruptly and launches into several murders in an apartment block.  We don't know any of the victims nor the perpetrator.  The fact that I found the murders very disturbing and cringed numerous times, points towards the strength of the scenes, as we don't need prior knowledge nor a connection with the victims to feel an empathy.  The murders weren't dragged out (which for me can sometimes dilute the effect) and the methods, which included the sharp end of a claw hammer, a drill (with a very large drill bit), a nailgun and a knife were toe-curling (in a good way) and had me wincing and cringing.  The blood was realistic and the killer himself had an eerie madness about him.  The completely contrasting music the victims were listening to in their homes before their attacks, which end up accompanying their demise definately adds to the disturbing nature of the scenes.
One complaint I do have though (and the one thing that ruined these scenes for me) was the necessity to have 2 of the victims presented in a sexual manner when it wasn't required and is so obviously done for titillation.  We see a young woman in a bath (with a full face of makeup... bad for the skin that) masturbating.  The killer gains his entry unheard by the woman due to her loud music and he kindly waits for her to finish before dispatching her by way of a nail-gun.... the obvious pun would be something along the line of 'nailing her' but I'm not that crass.  Anyways.... I have nothing against nudity in movies, male or female, but put it in there when its required and is relevant, don't just make a murder victim nude because you can.  These scenes are meant to be disturbing, shocking and chilling, not titillating.   I did ask my husband his viewpoint on this, as a matter of interest and wanting a males perspective and his view is simply, they did this at the time because they wanted to push the boundaries as much as they could, by making the movie as controversial as they could (ie as much nudity, gore and distasteful scenes as possible).  The intention was never to titillate.   Hmmm I can see that angle, but I still reckon its distracting from the scene and for most viewers.  I mean how many naked men do we see murdered in movies?  Like I said before, its a personal pet peeve and not one which would apply to everyone, hence me giving the movie the 'Recommended' tag.

Anyways, after the first half hour, the movie takes a dramatic change of pace as we see the killer kidnap a 15 year old girl (Laurie).  Its a strange change of pace, but not a bad one and the remainder of the movie is more pyschological rather than a physical horror.  The acting is impressive, which is a big change for The Nasties List and you genuinely feel empathy with the characters.   The film is now pretty much split into 3.  A Whodunnit with a waste of time police investigation... there really was no point in even bothering with this side of things if they weren't going to do it properly.  I've seen more convincing crime solving in an episode of Scooby Doo.  Speaking of Scooby Doo,  the second part of our 3 part movie split follows our kidnapped girls brother and his friend (who just so happens to be our killers nephew) trying to solve the case themselves.  Lastly we follow the killer and kidnapper and his odd relationship with Laurie who spends the duration tied to a bed.  This was a bit uncomfortable, as although there are no sexual scenes between the killer and her, the general creepiness almost implies something is amiss.  Sadly the inevitable rape of 15 year old Laurie is factored in nearing the end of the movie, but not by our killer/kidnapper, but by his nephew.  Thankfully we are spared any gratuitous and unnecessary shots with almost everything happening off camera.  I liked the ending.  Simple and effective.  I won't give that away.  I've given away pretty much everything else.

The movie had flaws.  There are inconsistencies, there are lots of unbelievable bits, there are frustrating bits (like a victim who hides in a small room from the killer who is wielding a drill and chasing her... she leans AGAINST the door separating the 2 of them!  ARRRGGGGHH).  I will say however overall its one of the better nasties and one I could recommend to any lovers of horror who aren't too easilly offended.

Can we maintain positives movies for a few weeks???  Watch this space!

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WEEK 69: The Toolbox Murders

Alternate Titles : n/a

Year: 1978

Reviews / Author Comments due: 15/09/2012

DPP Status: Removed from list May 1985

BBFC Status: Passed with 1m46s of cuts in 2000

IMDB: LINK

Wikipedia: LINK

DVD: Uncut US import (Blu-ray only)

NOTE: The version banned by the DPP was actually a cut version, it is believed that an uncut version has never been released in the UK, even before the video recordings act.

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Feel free to use the comments section of this post to add your own reviews and thoughts about this movie.

WEEK 61:Possession

Alternate Titles : The Night the Screaming Stops

Year: 1981

Reviews / Author Comments due: 21/07/2012

DPP Status: Removed from list September 1983 following Jury Trial
Satus: Passed uncut in 2010

IMDB: LINK

Wikipedia: LINK

DVD: R2 uncut

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Feel free to use the comments section of this post to add your own reviews and thoughts about this movie.

Night of the Bloody Apes - Lisa's Review

*** SPOILERS ***

I read the title of this one and thought 'oh gawd, here we go.  How can this possibly be any good?'.  I slightly shame myself however to admit that I enjoyed this one, BUT for all the wrong reasons.  For me, this one was a 'So bad its good' movie.  I found myself tittering all the way through.  Just when you were getting over the humor of the last cheesy line, terrible peace of acting, awful effect or desperately flawed storyline, lo and behold, something else happens to amuse you!

So where do I start?  The movie is dubbed and is originally spanish.  I speak a bit of spanish (not much admittedly, but the script would have made more sense to me in its original language).  The dubbing is awful and the actual translation itself seems to have no consideration for how it might sound in english, but is rather a crude literal translation of the original language.  That did just add to the fun for me though.

The storyline here follows a surgeon, Dr Kralman and his hapless, limping, gormless side-kick Goyo.  The Dr's son Julio has leukemia and for reasons I could not understand needed gorilla blood to cure him.  This blood however would have been too strong for the human heart, so the gorilla heart had to be transplanted as well.  Sooo what do they do?  They go to a zoo and get themselves an ape of course!!  This is where the only good piece of gore in the movie takes place and that would be because it was real.  Actual footage of real open heart surgery was spliced into the movie.  What perplexed me about it however is how shaky and incompetant the hands of the real surgeon appeared!  I certainly wouldn't want his hands in my chest cavity, thats for sure!
So, the son comes around, but he now has a ridiculous ape face, that looks like its been put on by that brown window putty you used to get years ago (can you still get that?).  He also has an insatiable need to attempt to rape women (I say attempt as he never actually manages that) and murder them.  I think the rape part was just as excuse for the movie to get as many pairs of tits and arse cheeks out as they could as there need be no hint of an excuse for a pair to pop out and Oooops, out they come.  'Oh dear!  I'm running.  I'm not wearing a bra, my boobs seem to have mysteriously popped out of my dress.. dearie me'.   Later followed by 'I've just taken a shower, someone has come to the door.  I won't do what a normal person would and ignore it, or pull a dressing gown on... no, I think I shall wander to the door with a towel wrapped around my front so my arse is hanging out.  Nice look that'.  I also learned that women like to make mundane calls to their boyfriends when completely nude, with NO ulterior motive, Hmmmmmm.

Anyways Nudity covered (mwahahahaha) the next humorous thing was the effects.  We had an eyeball gouging (which would usually have me cringing, I'm not good with eyeballs) but if a pile of fatty looking mash is what's behind an eyeball, I have a lot to learn.  A toupe is pulled off a bald mans painted head (I loved that bit!) and a sellotaped piece of latex is torn away from someones neck.

We also manage to return to the start of the movie where we had 2 women wrestling (although it was clearly big men in the wrestling scenes and not the slim women shown before the fight started).  One was very badly injured and ended up in hospital in a coma.  When our surgeon dad realises what has happened to his son due to the gorilla heart, he decides to remove the female wrestlers heart and transplant it into him.  Here we have another excuse for boobs to come out.  Goyo disposes of her in the hospital furnace but sadly Julio still resorts back to his monkey-boy self.

Nearing the end of the movie, Julio runs wild at the hospital and captures a little girl.  His dad manages to convince him to hand the little girl over and in true King Kong Style, he is gunned down where is stands on top of the roof.  Finally as with werewolves, he then turns back to his normal self as he lies dying, we have some 'Walton-like' music and hey presto, its all over.

Little about this movie is good in the sense that it is meant to, but I still found I enjoyed it and would watch it again with friends.

Watch if you like a good laugh at 'So bad its good' movies!

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The Burning - Will's Review

SPOILER FREE FOR FIRST FEW PARAGRAPHS (THERE WILL BE FURTHER WARNING BEFORE SPOILERS BEGIN)


Wow, I'm pleased to announce that I actually enjoyed this weeks movie! Don't get me wrong we're not talking "Oscar for best picture" (or for anything else for that matter) but it was a good, solid 80's slasher movie; if you like 80's slashers, and haven't seen "The Burning", stop reading at the next spoiler warning, and go see it. If you don't like 80's Slashers, I'm really not sure what you're doing here - but please don't go, we love both of our readers!

Seeing names like "Mirimax" and "Weinstein" in the opening credits was a bit surreal, and served as a reminder that the "Video Nasty" phenomenon was not something limited to independent movies and obscure dubbed foreign movies - Here is a "proper" Hollywood movie, that was actually prosecuted, in Britain, in living memory, for being 'Obscene'!

Speaking of the credits, I'll admit my hopes were raised when "Makeup effects by Tom Savini" flashed up; and he didn't disappoint (then, he never does).

If you've been following these 'reviews' (so, me and Lisa then...) you have probably noticed that I'm a Friday the 13th fan, and there's plenty here to remind you of these movies; enough that if it had gone wrong it would have been really annoying, but try to bear in mind that The Burning, at first glance, seems to owe much to FT13 2&3; but bear in mind that this was released in 1981, the same year as FT13pII, so they would have been in production at the same time.

At a summer camp (with a lake, no less) someone is involved, through the carelessness of others, in an accident that, by rights, should have killed him; 5 years later he shows up at a camp across the lake and starts picking off teenagers.

See? A few years later you would swear this was a Jason rippoff!


SPOILERS COMMENCE HERE

The difference in killer origin between here and FT13 is quite pronounced  - for one thing, we at home are never lead to believe that Cropsy is dead - we see him in hospital (where tactless doctors gross each other out with him) and we're with him when he stops to pick up a hooker upon his release (Who makes the mistake of being openly horrified by scarred face, and is introduced to the pointy end of a pair of scissors for her poor etiquette). For another thing, his non-death (by burning, obviously) is the result of a prank-gone-wrong, rather than a pure accident.

The pacing was pretty good - in the films first 50 minutes the aforementioned hooker is the only kill - this gives us plenty of time to build suspense and learn who's who in our troupe of camping stereotypes, and means that when the kills do start coming, they come thick and fast - the best scene in the movie was the frantic 5 kill raft rampage, which would have been awesome on it's own merits, but is made more so by it's position in the film; we know that there has been a kill already (our campers don't) so when the 5-man raft finds one of the missing canoes they have been sent to look for I was utterly convinced they would find a body in it - instead  Cropsy jumps out with his trusty shears and proceeds to off the entire population of the raft in about 60 seconds!

On the other hand, we are 'treated' to the most awkward and (thankfully -  for us, not for the girl) brief, teen-sex scene ever. There's also a scene where a guy practically forces himself on a girl; he stops last minute, but not before he's earned (in horror movie terms at least) a death that's too long coming - in fact, the girl meets Cropsy's shears before he dose - fuck you movie!

I would love to have seen a sequel (as, it seems, would others - "the burning 2" is a suggested search on Google as soon as you type in "the burning") but, due mostly to shonky marketing, Cropsy cost twice as much to unleash on the public as the public paid to see him, and so the film was a monumental flop that may well have been forgotten but for the fact that the uncut version was accidentally released on VHS, and so it made the DPP list.

Body Count: 10
Animal Body Count: 0
Boob Count: 2 pairs
Most Memorable Kill: The 5-kid raft slaughter (if I had to pick just one I'd go with the extreme manicure...)

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